


He Felt It

by Fin_Finley



Category: Original Work
Genre: Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Cheese, Cheesy, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, High School, Homophobia, Homosexuality, M/M, Major Original Character(s), Male Homosexuality, Male Slash, Ocean, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Original Slash, POV Original Character, School, Schoolboys, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Small Towns, Yaoi, original male slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-08-16 11:29:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8100757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fin_Finley/pseuds/Fin_Finley
Summary: Cadence McNeil is the small town boy you can't help but love. Alexander Nottingham is the wealthy boy that you love to hate. Add a private school and sassy attitudes, and you have a story of friendship, coming out, and love flourishing in the most unlikely places. This is a very cheesy m/m slash fiction story, will be rated M for future chapters!





	1. A Promising Stare

Cadence McNeil sat near the back of the train as it moved quietly through the endless strips of forest, bursts of green and brown filling his vision as he focused on the splintering wood underneath one of the large windows. He was on his way home from school like every evening, but catching the early coach with its tartan seats and worn floorboards had sparked something oddly sentimental in his school ridden brain.

He had been going to the same school for two years, his mother had insisted on it. She said that the school in Burling, a class of 200 people from beginner to graduation, wasn’t “the experience he needed”. Cadence had looked forward to his idea of school, having been homeschooled until he hit high school age, but the hours of transportation to and from the academy took his energy away to the point where he couldn’t manage to enjoy his day anymore. He wasn’t sure when it had come to be this way.

Now in his last year of high school, looking back on the days when he was so overridden with _joy_ at seeing people, he felt heavy with the recognition of his indifference to most life nowadays.

He, his mother, and his father all lived in the small ocean side town of Burling, nestled quietly at the base of towering mountains and rolling hills. Yes, it was beautiful, but it was lonely. Cadence had been sent to the expensive private school of Tacton upon his mother’s request under her belief that a private school lifestyle suited Cadence’s homeschooled needs far better than anything a public school could offer. He wasn’t too bothered by this, having never been to school previously, but after the first few months he’d realized that he could easily do without the pretentious mindsets of the prats that went there. 

Tacton was an all-boys academy composed of students from highly wealthy families and a small population of blood-line royalty. Then there was Cadence; the small town green eyed quiet one who had never been around more than ten people, including his family, in his whole life. The only reason his family could afford the school was from years of saving from his parent’s cartography business before his father became a corporate worker.

He didn’t mind it being an all-boys academy, having never put too much thought into relationships. Cadence had never considered the prospect of dating as he never left Burling for anything other than groceries when summer was over and his parents started craving fruits that couldn’t be grown locally. At the same time, he also knew that he would never end up with any of the photo-like beautiful women from the girl’s academy Actis that most of Tacton’s student population pined after.

The brunette was sucked out of his thoughts at the sound of station bells, signalling that they’d reached the South Campus. The South Campus was not nearly as aesthetically appealing as the North Campus with the North’s towering buildings and untouched old architecture, but it made up for its lack of appealing qualities with many small shops, restaurants, and bars. Village areas like the South Campus were uncommon out in the broad country, so the station was often full of life with academy students and the general population. This often captivated Cadence’s attention; seeing so many people in one place bustling around with one-thousand different stories always blew Cadence away. He figured that was mostly due to his inexperience with large crowds, but he still found interest in it.

He let his eyes wander the busy corridor, picking out a familiar head of dirty light blond hair in the middle of a crowd of crooning Tacton students. _Alexander Nottingham_ , the brunette narrowed his eyes, “ _the third”,_ he added to his thought with a twinge of disdain.

Alexander Nottingham was a well-known name around Tacton. Though not of royalty, Alexander’s family was one of the wealthiest families of the local region. Cadence had never spoken to him personally, having never had any reason to, but based off of popular school conversations he gathered that Alexander was a force to be reckoned with.

The pace-setter of the school’s famous rowing team, Alexander Nottingham attracted the eyes and ears of women and men alike. Supposedly “gifted” in academics, Alexander was everything you could hope to be.

Cadence had had a tough time integrating himself into societal norms when he started school, and struggled even more when he realized how out of the loop he was with the “higher class”. Because of this, Alexander had always amused him as the prime example to pick apart.

Nottingham was basically the ideal for Tacton’s goals and the heirs of wealthy families. One of the most popular students in the academy, Alexander was not only known for his talent in sports and academics, but also his gracious social skills which attracted the attention of anyone nearby. Not to mention his looks. Shaggy but somehow immaculately graceful dirty blond hair framed his chiselled features and steel blue eyes. Cadence had almost laughed at the difference between Tacton’s social standards and his family’s own, but over the last year he had chosen Alexander to watch because he had always found it interesting to conceive of how it was even possible to keep up appearances as Alexander was surely expected to. 

Unfortunately, Cadence hadn’t realized how blatantly he was staring until Alexander turned towards the waiting train in attempt to scout out open seats, promptly meeting Cadence’s blunt stare of deep thought before a look of slight surprise crossed his face as his eyes narrowed and his nose scrunched up in a slight sneer. Cadence didn’t bother to hide his surprised wide eyes and blinked slowly, turning his head straight forwards as a flush slowly spread across his entire face, surely spreading to his ears. _Well, that went well,_ Cadence thought haphazardly before shaking his head and grumbling lightly, curly brown locks falling into his face as he did so. _So what if Alexander is a great big prat?_ Cadence thought absentmindedly while finding a stain on the old table in front of him particularly interesting. It’s not like he would ever speak to the other bo-

His thoughts were abruptly cut off as the sound of loud laughter entered the small coach. Cadence didn’t have to turn around to know who it was, he could tell by the try-hard voices of Actis students grabbing for attention with sickeningly sweet voices that Alexander Nottingham and his group of friends had joined him on the train. He glanced up, and his gaze was met with the uniform-clad back of one of Nottingham’s friends as Alexander himself berated one of the Actis women for wearing a dress too short, while she wasn’t getting the hint and just giggled unflatteringly in response.

Cadence sat dumbly, staring up at the large group as he tried to reconcile and put together everything that was happening.

It was a Monday, the first Monday of the year in fact, and Cadence had decided to take the oldest coach for old time’s sake as it was the one he had taken during his first year at Tacton. At the time it was a very quiet place because nobody preferred the old seats and creaky windows when given the choice of newer coaches that had more leg room and extra seat padding. Obviously, that had changed.

A snap resounded in his ears and he looked up quickly, green eyes widening as they met with steel blue as Alexander Nottingham withdrew his hand, having snapped his fingers gracefully in attempt to get the brunette’s attention.

“Glad to see you’re sane.” Alexander noted with a slight smirk, “What are you doing in my seat?” he questioned in an impatient tone, nose scrunching once again in the beginning of another sneer. Cadence stared up bluntly, eyes narrowing slowly.

“I was here first.” He responded in a similarly irritated tone, brushing his nose softly as he was feeling conflicted and awkward, and much more. Why was Alexander speaking to _him_? Alexander’s seat?

A pained look crossed Alexander’s face as he forced a look of indifference, disregarding Cadence as if he were never there in the first place as he turned back to his friends, muttering something in subdued tones before his group burst out in laughter. At first Cadence suspected that Nottingham was making fun of him, but as the group slowly trailed out of the coach he caught a glimpse of the Actis student from earlier who was now flushed pink as she tried to cover the underdress that her short outfit wouldn’t hide.

Cadence turned his attention back to Alexander, feeling unnerved by the intense stare he was receiving. Had Alexander’s eyes always been so captivating? Cadence pondered this absentmindedly; he’d never been close enough to notice.

“Are you always such a gigantic prat?” The words were out of his mouth before he could even think, and Cadence visibly flinched at them. _Nice going_ , he thought belatedly. Alexander’s eyes widened a fraction before narrowing as he stared down at Cadence from his position, leaning against the top of the seat opposite to the brunette.

“Only when someone does something without thinking, such as sitting in _my_ seat” Alexander answered fluidly, a small smirk catching the corner of his lips as he watched Cadence squirm under his unrelenting gaze.

“This is an entirely empty coach completely full of seats, why do you have to have this one?” He questioned challengingly, pleased by the look of surprise on the blond’s face.

“Nevertheless,” Alexander answered calmly, as if he was trying to discern his actions like he’d never heard anyone disobey his wants in his entire life. “I normally sit in this seat. Every day. So theoretically speaking, _this,_ ” he pointed to where Cadence sat, “is my seat.”

“If we’re going to talk theory, then I was still here first.” Cadence beamed proudly, straightening his back in an unconscious attempt to mirror Alexander’s own immaculate grace. “During first year I sat in this coach,” he gestured to the old train, “in this seat, every single day.” He finished triumphantly, the corners of his mouth rising into a pleased smile before his moment of victory was abruptly cut off by the light flush that dusted Alexander’s cheeks. Cadence stared silently. Was he angry at the brunette? Bothered by the history? His face showed no signs of irritation that Cadence could take away.

“You’ve got me there.” The blond remarked in a breathy sigh. He hesitated for only a moment, eyes narrowing slightly at Cadence’s defiant stare before sliding carefully into the seat across from the brunette, glancing out the window with furrowed brows at the change of scenery from his normal position.

Cadence couldn’t help but scrutinize bluntly. _Where did the Alexander from just a minute ago go?_ He wondered silently as he unconsciously brushed his nose once more. It was only then, that Cadence realized Nottingham had coerced his friends into leaving the train car using those renowned social skills he had heard all about, and it finally registered in the brunette’s mind that it was quite possible Alexander Nottingham liked the quiet, worn old train coach just as much as he himself did.

This brought forth Cadence’s inherent humbleness, and before he could stop to think about what he wanted to say, his hand had already reached across the table in offering to the blond boy, stating in a gentle tone, “My name is Cadence. Cadence McNeil”.

The surprise that was clearly becoming a norm between the two boys was evident on Alexander’s features as he stared at Cadence’s hand dumbly, a confused look on his face for a brief moment before his own immaculately manicured hand reached out and joined Cadence’s in a gentle but firm shake, perfect for political correctness.

“Alexander Nottingham.” The blond replied efficiently after a long moment, his eyes glued to Cadence’s as if he were some entity he’d never bore witness to before, steel eyes almost piercing the air.

“I know,” Cadence uttered without thinking, before berating himself for the third time that day on his rash speaking and adding quickly after, “I mean, who doesn’t? You’re everywhere.”

Alexander snorted lightly, a slightly awkward silence filling the coach as it began to drift along the tracks in the direction of the next station. This gave Cadence some time to think, and before he could even attempt to gather his thoughts they came at him like a storm. Why was this happening to him? Why was _Alexander Nottingham_ sitting with him? Why oh why did he choose this specific day to ride the old coach? He supposed it wouldn’t make a difference either way, considering that Alexander had expressed his common action of taking possession of the old coach for nearly an entire year prior.

The brunette’s eyes unconsciously drifted towards the other boy, finally having a chance to take in the blond’s appearance without fifty other things happening at the same time. Cadence surely understood why Alexander was so loved by the students of Actis, his dirty blond hair suited his chiselled face perfectly, steel blue eyes that were so captivating you couldn’t really focus on much else followed down to a finely pointed nose, not too big or too small for the other boy’s face. Absolutely perfect. It unnerved Cadence, having someone so aesthetically appealing so close to him. The brunette never really paid attention to his own appearance, mirrors weren’t something Cadence thought a lot about and he never really had enough interaction with different people to discern what he truly looked like from the outside.

As his gaze slid to Alexander’s lips, Cadence’s head tilted slightly as he thought about the irony of the situation. One thing the brunette always forgot to account for was the aggressive reactions he always had to meeting new people. Seeing a new face always brought a large amount of curiosity and Cadence had definitely scared a handful or more of people away with his intense gazes.

Alexander was immaculate all the way down to his collarbones, probably more, but that’s all that Cadence could see as the rest was cut off by Tacton’s signature summer uniform that he wore himself as well, a white dress shirt buttoned at the cuffs with a grey sleeveless jumper bearing the Tacton school crest. Trousers had a little more choice, as long as they were black and you wore school provided loafers the academy wasn’t too strict on what and what not the administration wanted the students to wear.

Cadence was once again drawn out of his thoughts as his gaze was met once more with that captivating steel blue, and the brunette noticed absently that Alexander had exceptionally long eyelashes.

“Where do you live?” The question was blunt and short, and Cadence wasn’t sure he had heard correctly.

“Where do I live?” He replied with a light inhale at the strange icebreaker. Was it an icebreaker?

“Yes, where do you live, that’s what I said, isn’t it?” Alexander muttered, brows furrowing gently before he rolled his eyes dramatically. “Not your address, you great git, I meant the town.” He finished with a sigh at Cadence’s wide eyed look.

“Oh…” He marveled dumbly before shaking his head quickly, eyes blinking as he came back to reality. “I live in Burling, with my parents.” He answered offhandedly before adding after, “How about you?”

It occurred to Cadence after he had spoken that Alexander wouldn’t possibly live in a town or city like the brunette, he probably lived in the middle of no-

“Burling? _The_ Burling? Like the Burling in between the mountains and the ocean Burling?” He chimed interestedly, a look of genuine interest on his face as he leaned forwards slightly to hear the brunette’s response.

“Uhm… yes? That Burling. It’s quite nice.” He remarked with an eyebrow slowly raising at the strange and aggressive reaction.

“It’s quite nice,” Alexander mocked in what was supposed to be an imitation of Cadence before adding “that’s quite incredible, really. I wish _I_ lived in Burling.” He finished with a contemplative exhale, looking sideways out the window at the rolling trees. “I live with my family out in the middle of nowhere, the cities don’t fit the size of house my parents wanted.” He muttered quietly, one hand snaking up to meet his cheek and hold his face in place while he stared at the passing scenery with disinterest and disdain.

Well, that confirms it. Cadence thought lightheartedly, still trying to grab hold of the conversation before responding. “It’s not bad, I guess. I’ve never really had the time to appreciate it.”

Cadence licked his lips, glancing up at the sky as he thought about his hometown. He knew it was beautiful, but he was always cooped up in his house, flooded with homework and leftover chores that his mother forgot to do the previous nights before she’d leave for work.  He and his mother had always been particularly close; his father wasn’t absent from their lives, but more often than not he was out on a business trip sustaining the comfortable lifestyle that they maintained; which meant that Cadence was the only one left to do those trivial household chores. It intrigued Cadence that Alexander had such a fond interest in Burling, considering that he surely had the money to travel wherever he wanted if he pleased.

“Why don’t you go visit Burling yourself?” Cadence questioned lightly, fidgeting with his fingers under the table as he watched Alexander’s hand slide from his face and off of the table. The other boy turned towards him to speak. His steel eyes flashed as his lip curled up in a sneer that was positively fear inducing, but Cadence somehow knew that the sneer wasn’t directed at him.

It took Alexander a long moment to respond, a look of concentration on his face as he tried to discern what he wanted to say. Cadence wasn’t sure why the blond boy looked so out of place sitting there with him.

“My parents don’t like Burling, they think it’s too commonplace and they don’t want anyone that knows us seeing me somewhere like that.” He spat in an acid-like tone before sighing and shaking his head, scrunching his nose gently as his gaze finally landed on Cadence.

As much as Cadence understood the answer, he was still taken aback at the reasoning.

“You’re an adult now, right?” He questioned before adding, “You should be able to make your own decisions. I’m sure your parents would give you freedom enough to travel where you want, wouldn’t they?”

He could tell from Alexanders pained look and the angry huff that escaped him that obviously that wasn’t the case. Cadence’s personality scratched at him from the inside. He had the inherent want to offer his house open to the other boy to satisfy the obvious longing that Alexander had to visit the small town, but he stomped the thought as it rose, reminding himself of who exactly he was speaking to.

“You should appreciate it while you have the chance, you never know if life will change in an instant.” Alexander commented offhandedly, twitching his head in the direction of the window once more, his neck taught with minor irritation.

The train proceeded on in silence, Alexander’s tension slowly receding with the time as both boys watched the scenery pass by. The sun was beginning to set, casting a comfortable yellow hue against both males as they sat together. _Are we sitting together?_ Cadence wondered, _or is Alexander just sitting here because he doesn’t want to give up his seat?_

Cadence found that it didn’t matter to him either way, he was comfortable enough just having the company near him. Even if the daily train rides on the main coaches were full of people, Cadence never paid any attention to them unless he wanted to watch. It was nice for him to sit in a comfortable silence with someone he knew. _Well, I don’t know Alexander_ , Cadence reminded himself as his brow furrowed slightly.

He let his eyes wander the coach, falling on the top of Alexander’s head as he let out a light sigh. Nottingham changed the entire atmosphere of the rickety old car, making the tartan stand out against his pale skin and the wall panels look the tiniest bit newer.

Cadence had found that the old car was perfect for him during his first year at Tacton. His quiet personality fit right in with the old coach that was commonly ignored, and he felt at home there. His mother had told him to stop taking it during the summer of his first year because she thought that having Cadence spend his time away from everyone would mean that nothing changed from his normal lifestyle as he didn’t really converse with students anyway. Unfortunately for his exasperated mother, when Cadence started taking the newer coaches during his second year he found out that nothing was particularly different. Most students filed in in their own groups, and Cadence was never noticed as he sat alone.

Now, with Nottingham sitting in front of him, Cadence felt like he was on an entirely new train altogether. The blond boy radiated confidence and prowess, perfection seeping off of him like honey which bombarded Cadence’s senses and stole his attention as Cadence watched him from across the coach booth.

After some time, Alexander stood quietly, and Cadence nearly asked if something was wrong before he realized the train was coming to a stop at one of the stations. He wasn’t even listening to the station’s name when it was announced, too focused on his internal conflictions and the small junction between Alexander’s neck and shoulder.

The brunette watched silently as Alexander threw his leather bag across his shoulder, fixing small creases in his outfit that formed while sitting down in the process. Cadence snorted silently at another recognition of Alexander’s immaculateness.

Nottingham glanced down at Cadence and nodded towards him with a slight smirk, and as Cadence stared up at the blond boy, he only then recognized how tall he actually was. Alexander towered over Cadence, which intimidated him slightly now that the other boy had his signature look of confidence written across his features as he prepared to leave.

“Goodbye, Cadence.” He remarked in a political tone while nodding towards the brunette, though Cadence could sense the smallest hint of friendliness in his voice. Cadence nodded quietly and watched the blond boy’s back as he stepped off of the coach gracefully, his hair flying every which way in the wind but somehow still managing to look good.

Exhaling loudly, Cadence slumped forward heavily, not realizing until that moment just how much his attempt at good posture hurt the muscles in his back. _This has officially been the weirdest day of my life_ , he thought exasperatedly, sighing again as he ran a slow hand through his messy brown hair. He wasn’t sure whether or not he would ever speak to Nottingham again in his life, but- _how long has it been?_ He glanced at his watch, noting that over thirty minutes had passed between the South Campus station and whatever this one was. That half hour had been enough to rattle Cadence speechless, not that he needed to speak anymore.

_How much time did I spend watching him?_ Cadence thought as a frown pulled at the corners of his lips, displeased with himself as realized it must have been a hell of a lot longer than a few minutes for an entire thirty minutes to pass with such little conversation between the two males.

Surely Alexander had noticed, but if he did he never mentioned it. _Maybe it’s because he always has people staring at him_ , Cadence figured. He wondered what it was like to have so much attention every second of the day. Even the teachers at Tacton took special actions when it came to Alexander, but that could also be because the blond boy had a particularly piercing stare.

Cadence found himself drained of energy as he leaned his head against the cold train window, letting the temperature cool his forehead off as he closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall into a relaxed light sleep, something that was not uncommon for the brunette on his way home.

\--

His body shook him awake as the train neared Burling’s station. After two years of taking the train twice a day his body was essentially an internal alarm clock since Cadence’s schedule never wavered. There was never any reason for him to stay at school later than he needed, and since it took so long for him to get home he always preferred leaving as early as possible as opposed to making himself even later and risk missing his mom’s home cooked meal. He glanced out of the old window with groggy eyes, yawning as he watched the sun begin to dip below the shining ocean in the farthest reaches of his view. The train came to a stop soon after, and as Cadence stepped off of the coach and glanced up he was caught by the blazing hues of orange and pink that danced across the sky-view glass that covered the station. He looked back at the old train coach before letting his eyes trail the station architecture, the entire inner building alight with the sun’s rays.

_Has it always looked this way?_ Cadence thought dazedly as a gust of warm, sea-salt scented wind blew past him. It was all so familiar and yet so foreign. It seemed like Alexander’s words had taken hold in Cadence’s mind as he turned around in circles, appreciating how the sunlight turned everything around him golden.

Maybe Cadence’s homeschool experience put him a few steps behind the general population in social situations, but he had lived in Burling his entire life. Why had he never noticed its beauty before? Cadence shook his head softly as he began walking the all-familiar path back to his home, his eyes darting up every so often at the burst of green or towering grey that caught the corner of his gaze. Cadence had always been taught to appreciate the world around him- his mother had engraved it into his brain when he was very young. She always said that paying attention would bring about the best rewards, and it wasn’t until this evening that Cadence started to understand what she truly meant.

He had always taken it from a social point of view. Never having learned the type of social skills he needed for Tacton, Cadence had always found value and importance in human beings and their interactions. That’s why he had such incredible skill in people-watching, but it seemed like he’d completely missed out in understanding the real world around him. The world that included warm ground under his feet and grey mountains shining orange with the light of the sunset.

Stepping lightly up the wooden staircase to his front door, Cadence inhaled and closed his eyes. In that moment, he was assaulted with familiar humid air that smelled just enough of the sea to stick to his clothes. His hand grazed the doorknob and it sent a chill down his spine as the cold metal brought him back to reality. It took a great effort for him to step inside, as all he wanted to do was _stare_ at everything around him.

His mother brought him out of his thoughts as she popped out from around the kitchen corner, and just then the smell of homemade lasagna met Cadence’s nostrils as she smiled brightly towards him. “Hi, honey!” she cheered happily. “How was your day?”

Cadence had always told his mother the same thing: “normal”, or something of the sort. His mother probably expected it by now, but their relationship brought them so close that it was simply habit to ask those types of questions, and it only brought them closer knowing that even if it was normal they would both respond.

This time, Cadence actually had something to say.

“Different,” he snickered slightly at the change in words as his mother raised a wild eyebrow, stepping fully out of the kitchen now with interest as she dried her hands on the worn tea-towel she always kept hanging on the oven door. “I talked to and sat with Alexander Nottingham on the train today.” He finished contemplatively, dropping his bag by the door and shucking his shoes off into the corner before walking inside and sitting down at the dining room table.

Her surprise was unmistakeable not only by her face but by the way she stopped drying her hands and opened her mouth to speak, nothing coming out. It seemed like she was just as weirded out by the situation as Cadence himself was, which only made his smile grow. Of course she had heard all about the blond boy from Cadence’s constant analysis over the past two years.

“I know, it’s weird, right?” He said absentmindedly before continuing, “I decided to take the old coach today, you know, the one with tartan seats?” he asked her mildly, smiling at her look of fond recognition. Cadence had come home the first day of school ranting and raving about them, having loved the pattern greatly.

“Well, it turns out that last year Alexander had taken possession of the coach, so when I was in it today, we met.” He remarked with a sigh, glancing at his mother as she came over to sit beside him.

“And?” She questioned with genuine interest, a smile in her eyes likely due to the fact Cadence had actually spoken to someone more than the normal basic greeting. Her strawberry blonde hair was tied up in a bun, and some strands had fallen across her forehead and ears, likely from working around the house all day.

“He’s a giant arse.” He continued in an amused tone, “Yet he’s not a giant arse. I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” She responded, smirking slightly.

“He was weird with his friends, and at first he was _really_ weird with me, but I think that’s because I unnerved him.” Cadence exclaimed, recalling the incident. “After his friends left, we made some small talk.”

“He’s not as free as you think he would be.” He pondered after, biting his lip slightly.

“Well, that makes sense. Wealthy families have a lot to live up to- they do it to themselves you know.” She said with a giggle, winking slightly as she reached a hand out to pat Cadence’s shoulder.

Cadence watched her as she stood up once more, making her way to the kitchen to finish the dinner that she was making for the two of them. She paused for a moment, turning her head to meet Cadence’s intense gaze with her own. “I’m proud of you.” She stated bluntly, before turning back around and beginning to hum the joyful tune she always sang when working. There was no name for it, she and Cadence’s father had come up with it when he was a child to get him smiling.

The brunette sat for a while more, listening to the sounds of a lively kitchen and his mother’s familiar tune. As always, he was lost in his thoughts. He and his mother were the best of friends, and while children around Burling that never really knew Cadence would tease him for it, he was never bothered by their relationship. Cadence had always needed somebody like that in his life, especially since he never had the chance to hold long conversations with anyone else. He worried sometimes that he took up too much of his mother’s time with constant rants about his people-watching experiences, but she always welcomed Cadence’s words with open arms and a smile.

The brunette stood up slowly, walking upstairs and tossing his bag down again beside his dresser as he walked over to his window and breathed in the fresh ocean air. The sun was below the horizon line now, but the sky was as bright and blazing as ever, casting shadows and colour into his room.

\--

Dinner went as usual, calm and quiet, but Cadence could tell his mother was particularly happy with something.

“I got a call from your father today,” she broke the silence before continuing, “He’s in New York right now, he should be home in a week or two but he says things are going really well with the company. And as usual, he _hopes you’re having a good week_.” She finished, impersonating his father with the last comment and laughing lightly after.

His parents had both been cartographers at one point. They were making a great life for themselves, in fact, that’s how they ended up in Burling. A map company resided in the town and when his father and mother were younger they thought it would be a really good opportunity for them to start out. For a few years they worked for this company and by nearly a decade they had grown their own company, and they made a wonderful living off of it. Cadence’s father had quit map-making a few years prior to Cadence’s birth with the wish of pursuing something further in business. He was always the half of the team that dealt with other business people and created connections, and it had sparked something within him that he wanted to look deeper into. His mother discontinued their business and went back to working for the original company in town.

His mother, as she expressed to Cadence when he was younger, had been worried at first, but after seeing how successful he was in individual business deals she supported him wholeheartedly. His mother now worked at the map company, _what was it?_ Cadence could never remember its name. She seemed to enjoy it immensely, but Cadence got the feeling that ever since he started school she’d become really lonely, especially since his father had started going on so many business trips.

Their relationship was in-tact just fine, but Cadence knew that everybody needed to be close to the one they love every now and then. He was more excited for his father to come home to see the joy on their faces when they spent time together over seeing his father himself.

When dinner was over he excused himself, kissing his mother on the forehead like usual before prodding his way upstairs with a full stomach and a feeling of warmth.

Throwing his curtains open to reveal twilight sky and reflective waters, Cadence stared out into the ocean with sleepy eyes. He turned back and looked around his room, heaving a sigh as he rubbed his eyes. His evenings were always uneventful, since he got home so late all he ever had time for was dinner with his mother and sleep. Most of his enjoyment during the week came from the mornings, and he would sleep and wake early to get more time with them.

Cadence recalled the day’s events. _It’s not that I don’t have social skills,_ he thought absentmindedly after, _it’s just that I don’t have practice using them_. Cadence had always been a fast learner, that’s why his mother had chosen to homeschool him. He had surpassed grade levels at a surprising rate, so much so that his mother would repeat lessons at the end of the year to take up time because he had already learned the course and didn’t need review. Not many people knew this as Cadence kept such a low profile at Tacton, but he was third in his entire class for grades, positioned right after Alexander himself and another boy named Nicholas.

Cadence used to be frustrated with his lack of social interaction. He spoke constantly with his family and wrote for hours each day just to get out his words- but he never had the chance to interact with anyone outside his own house unless he was out with his parents on weekends. He figured that was why his mother placed him into proper schooling for his high school years. Before that, she would often speak about her own experiences, and Cadence had always caught the offhand look of regret in her eyes. He knew she only wanted the best for him, and Cadence was forever grateful for the opportunity to learn the world, but there were many downsides to his transition.

His transportation time was the primary issue in his life. It took away four or so hours away from his day paired with the eight hours of school. Cadence never had any time to _enjoy_ the outside world and it frustrated him that it was just out of his reach. It was one of the reasons he was so keen on being free from education.

This brought around the second issue that arose once he started attending proper school- the issue of his future. Cadence’s world had always been so small, he had barely given any thought to what he wanted to do as a career, who he would marry, where he would live. Sure, he enjoyed history and had a particular talent for mathematics and the sciences, but those were such broad general topics that Cadence had never looked into anything deeper. Now he was in his last year of high school with no plans for the future, and that unnerved him like nothing else.

When he was younger he would often talk with his mother about working in cartography, but she discouraged his want to pursue her career because she said that it wouldn’t lead him anywhere if he chose to stay at the company she worked at. Anyone could find cartography in their country, but the little company in Burling was by no means international which meant that Cadence would end up staying where he’d always been, and his mother wanted more for him than that. On the other hand, Cadence had found no interest in business like his father had.

In a way he’d always envied people like Alexander. While he may be stuck, he has something to do with his life- it’d been laid out for him by his parents and their parents before them At least, that’s what he assumed. Cadence wished that he could find a career so easily, even if it boxed him in. Unfortunately, Cadence was more boxed than most wealthy heirs before even hitting the age of freedom.

_Alexander_ , he thought distantly, tasting the name out in his head as he listened to the sound of waves hitting the shore, changing into his night clothes before flopping down on his bed dramatically.

The entire ordeal had thrown Cadence way off of his normal train of thought, but what caught his attention the most had been the differences in Alexander’s reactions. When he was with his friends the Alexander that Cadence had spoken to didn’t exist in any way, shape, or form. He was confident, loud, talkative, and always smiling that brilliant white-toothed grin. As soon as he was alone in the coach with the other boy it was almost like Alexander had switched personalities, a curtain coming up to reveal someone who looked and sounded _human_ , not like a perfect rendition of the imagination.

It had intrigued Cadence, piecing things together like Alexander’s true social skill in manipulating people to get what he wanted out of situations and his ease in switching between what best fit the social atmosphere. It was lucky for Cadence that he had such skill in reading people, because it allowed him to see the smaller things in Nottingham’s actions; like the brief flickers of emotion that poured out before being capped over with a face of indifference- or the inherent physical mannerisms the other boy had like the scrunch of his nose which seemed to only appear when he was having a reaction he didn’t want to physically display.

Alexander was like nobody else he had seen before, there were so many layers to him that Cadence himself had had a tough time trying to discern what was going on in the other boy’s head. He thought of the amount of time he had spent with Nottingham and sighed heavily, eyes closing to the sound of waves and his mother finishing up downstairs.

Why _had_ he stared at Alexander for such a long period of time?

Cadence recalled the way Alexander had regarded him with such a fierce gaze that he had felt pinned to the spot. Alexander had a stare so strong he could have the world at his feet. In Tacton and the surrounding region, he already had that going for him. Despite this, it wasn’t like Cadence to feel so dug up by social situations. The more he thought about it, the more he figured his reaction must have been due to the fact that it was _Alexander Nottingham_ he was speaking to, and not a normal face like Cadence himself.

A frown pulled at his brows as he considered this- Alexander was just as normal as anyone else. He had to keep reminding himself of that.

The brunette exhaled slowly, the sound of dishes being washed and a familiar tune being hummed along with wind gently blowing across his curtains lolling him into the relaxed state he found himself in nearly every night, and Cadence McNeil fell asleep on the first day of his last year to the view of immaculate hands as one reached out to shake his own.


	2. Alexander Nottingham

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first look at Alexander's perspective! Each following chapter will switch perspectives between the two boys.

Alexander Nottingham awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside his window. As his sleep-tired eyes opened slowly, they were met with blazing sunlight as it shone through the floor to ceiling windows of his bedroom, reflecting off of the shining floorboards. He sniffled and scrunched his nose, sitting up quickly and forcing his eyes open in fear that he would fall back asleep.

The previous night had been particularly hard on the blond; unable to get that blazing green out of his head no matter how many beautiful women he forced himself to think of. During dinner his mother had asked what was wrong, which proved to Alexander that he was more affected than he thought if he couldn’t hide his internal conflict from showing on his face.

His little sister Elizabeth, who was a small energetic child at the ripe age of eight, had caught onto the conversation at the dinner table much to the dismay of Alexander and the enjoyment of his parents as she raved about the house for nearly an hour teasing Alexander about his “new girlfriend”, because of course, that must have been the only thing Alexander could be worried about.

He exhaled slowly, rubbing his eyes as he slid himself out of his wonderfully warm duvet. He gasped silently as his toes touched the cold floorboards, but he braved it anyways as that had always helped him wake up in the mornings. Rising groggily and walking towards his bathroom, Alexander pondered quietly.

He had known for almost a decade that he was gay. To Alexander, that was worse than coming to terms with it slowly, because for him there was no room for feeble denial of the reality. As the eldest and the son, he was expected to graduate college, marry a beautiful, equally wealthy woman, and bear children as per normal tradition. It wasn’t a matter of “continuing the line”, but Alexander’s parents held a high reputation when it came to social standards and Alexander was expected to live up to the most popular of them. His dream of such a perfectly happy life was shattered when he hit puberty and found that his first intimate dream had featured his old school friend, Thomas, who he promptly stopped speaking to the day after.

He bit his lip absentmindedly as his hands gripped the cold edges of his sink. _Why is everything so cold today?_ He wondered quietly, cutting off his train of thought as he splashed water that was an even lower temperature across his face, his nerves reacting in a frenzy at the intense sensations, still slightly numb with sleep.

Alexander had kissed more women than he could count, and he surely wasn’t a virgin anymore, but he had never kissed the lips he craved. He longed to feel a body as sturdy as his own, a hard chest and equally sized hands against his.

He knew that if he were to indulge in those personal wants that it would break him entirely, so instead he surrounded himself with crowds of women. This not only pleased his parents, but stopped him from wanting what he could never have as long as he tried not to focus on it.

Being placed in Tacton was a kick in the gut for Alexander. Surrounded by testosterone and deep voices, he had found it hard to breath. He focused his attention on his studies, easily breaking the top of his class list because of the expensive tutoring his mother had insisted on him taking every weekend at their home.

Alexander looked up from the sink, water droplets sliding off of his face and tickling his neck as his senses came back to him with the cold, meeting his steel blue eyes in the mirror. He had always hated his eyes. They showed too much emotion and Alexander feared that one day someone would look too deep and _see_ his secret, and then everything he had built up would be ruined.

Drying his face off with a towel, he pondered this. He had been told countless times that his gaze could kill, and Alexander looked fondly on the days he learned to use his weakness as a power. Over the years he had learnt how eye contact could influence people, shown by his mother’s prowess and his father’s masculine hold. Alexander had found that if he was the one to hold that contact strongly, whoever he was speaking to would be too distracted and intimidated by the strength in his gaze that they wouldn’t consider trying to read it.

The blond boy pulled on his school attire lethargically, glancing at himself in the mirror as he fixed any creases that appeared. It was normal for him to attempt perfection, having been taught that it was of upmost importance ever since he was a child, little things like making his hair look right and practicing graceful actions had become so normal that he barely recognized when he was doing it anymore.

As Alexander packed his bag and headed downstairs, his mind was met with those blazing green eyes once more. Cadence. Cadence McNeil.

To say Alexander had been surprised to see the other boy in the old coach would be an understatement. He had been taking the old coach for an entire year prior, and he had never seen anyone else on it. He wondered why they even kept the old thing attached.

The blond had grown fond of its creaky old floorboards and dusty windows. Being surrounded by people constantly during the day took a lot out of Alexander, and the old train coach was the only place he could step out of his wholesome life to distance himself from all of the energy.

When his gaze had met the blazing green stare of another boy, his automatic reaction had been to sneer wickedly, as the prospect of someone invading his only private space broke something inside of him.

“Good morning, Alexander. Don’t forget about your practice this morning- did you pack an extra set of clothes? Oh, and I’m sure you’ve finished your English essay, correct?” His mother commented offhandedly when Alexander appeared at the bottom of the stairs as she organized Elizabeth’s schoolwork, packing her bag for her as she hopped around the kitchen excitedly.  

Alexander nodded towards his mother, her words barely registering as he patted Elizabeth’s giggling head while grabbing his lunch from the cook on the way out.

Seeing the other boy’s startled eyes as a flush spread across his face made Alexander’s heart clench, and before he had known what he was doing he had led his group onto the coach. When he had gotten all of them to leave, he was struck suddenly with the realization that he was now left alone with the other boy.

Alexander groaned absentmindedly as he got into the sleek black car that would take him to the station, the smell of leather assaulting his senses as he leaned back, glancing down at the small callouses on his hands that had formed from his rowing. He hadn’t meant to be so rude to the brunette, but his humble gaze struck something inside Alexander that he didn’t like.

The blond scrunched his nose, lips curving downwards as he recalled his own light flush. Knowing that the strange boy had sat not only in the same coach, but the same seat as Alexander himself, sparked a familiarity in the blond that had surprised him.

Cadence was clearly unique; Alexander couldn’t remember ever having seen the boy at Tacton previously, but he knew the name well from checking the academic class list every so often to be sure he still held his top spot. He wasn’t sure what had made him ask where the brunette lived, but the words were out of his mouth before he had the time to stop them. Finding out that Cadence lived in Burling had made Alexander burn with envy. He had heard stories of the small town over his lifetime and it seemed to resemble everything Alexander could want for himself.

The blond’s favourite hobby had always been admiring nature and the world around him. He rarely had a good amount of free time during the day, and over the years he had found great pleasure in studying the natural world. It was one of the main reasons he started rowing. During middle school Alexander had tried it out on his mother’s words of encouragement and found that he enjoyed it immensely. It suited her wants of an immaculate reputation for her son as rowing is such a graceful sport that requires perfection to work properly. Alexander found that with rowing he could not only escape his hectic life, but also spend hours of his day on the water in the middle of what he admired most. Nature.

Shining waters, the breeze built by cohesive effort, and towering green hills surrounded him every morning as he and his team practiced. It was comparable to nothing, and for Alexander it was what kept him sane.

* * *

 

Practice went fluidly as usual. The team was made up of students that had been rowing for at least three years, which meant that everyone knew the routines and could get everything done without causing a mess.

Alexander grunted as he and his team lifted the boat and waddled up the cement ramp, picking up the moist cloth that sat on the mossy wooden stand to clean his end of the boat when the team had set it down. His favourite part had always been wiping the boat down. The algae and muggy river dirt that clung to the boat after every practice reflected their hard work and the relationship between their boat and the river. It always grounded Alexander, making him feel like he was a part of the earth.

The blond’s clothes stuck tight to his body with sweat as he wiped his forehead off with the back of his hand, snorting at the beads of sweat that flew off as he shook it. He made his way over to the showers, stripping down and stepping into the first cubicle he saw open, the water already warm from whoever had used it last.

Alexander considered this as he let the hot stream sooth his worn muscles, _if my mother ever heard that I take public showers after every practice she would lose her mind_ , he laughed quietly to himself as he slathered shampoo in his hair, rinsing it out and letting the water slide down his face. Alexander took every chance he could to feel normal, and everything about rowing allowed him that. Second only to the quiet coach car he had grown so fond of, the practice area was a place of grounding for the blond.

A light slap on his shoulder-blade shook him out of his thoughts as he stepped out of the cubicle and wound a towel around his waist. He turned to face one of his team members, Timothy, who was grinning like he’d won the lottery.

“How excited are you for the race next Saturday, lad?” He questioned cheerfully, raising his hands in the air as Alexander snorted lightly and flashed him a smirk.

“As excited as I am for any race.” he responded flatly but with a hint of amusement before adding, “Besides, this one is on our own river so we’ll win by a landslide.”

“You have too much confidence in us, Alex.” Timothy laughed and rolled his eyes, dressing and towelling his hair off as he turned to face the blond.

“I have too otherwise nobody else will.” Alexander responded lightly, turning away as the other boy started to dress as he shucked his own clothes on as well. As the pace-setter, the team relied on him just as much as the coxswain for motivation and Alexander was very willing to give them what they needed. “Also, I told you to stop calling me that.” He finished with mock irritation, narrowing his eyes at Timothy as he reached up to towel off his own hair.

Timothy just laughed and headed out of the dressing room with a wave. He’d see the other boy in History, so there was no need to say goodbye.

It had taken quite a lot of effort for Alexander to get used to dressing with the other boys. He wasn’t self-conscious about his own body, rowing kept him in impeccable shape, but it was seeing so much male skin that affected him.

He hadn’t realized just what he had gotten into until their coxswain led them all to the shower rooms after their first practice. In his middle school the boys had to shower at their homes because there were no showers provided. Alexander had _almost_ chosen to deny himself a shower until the end of that day, but his obsession with cleanliness took hold of him when he looked in the mirror and saw himself soaked in sweat.

Showering was the easy part, because he couldn’t see anyone else when he was in the cubicle. It was getting dressed that took so much out of him. This was part of the reason Alexander chose to wait until most of his team had finished showering until he even started, but Timothy was so stubborn that he would always wait to have some form of small talk with the blond.

Alexander figured it was nice to have someone like that in his life. Constantly being surrounded by people who respected him so greatly unnerved him, even a handful of his team members would often stare blatantly at him whenever he walked by.

What bothered Alexander the most was that he wasn’t popular because people genuinely liked him, it was because of his family. The fact that he was so strong in rowing and so smart in academics was only a fluke to add into their views of him.

The blond sighed as he stared at the river, the current dragging a small family of ducks along as wind blew against the trees. Inhaling loudly, Alexander smiled to himself as he listened to the birds and the sounds of his team packing up behind him. _If I’m anything but happy, bring me to nature_ , he thought to himself before scrunching his nose lightly, turning to face his half-naked, half-wet team with confidence as they waited to wander towards the academy together.

* * *

Literature went as usual, with the teacher ranting in a monotone voice for over an hour about the degradation of romanticism while the class nodded off in silence. Alexander sat near the back row, playing with his pencil and drawing for the whole time. He pre-studied on the weekends when he was being tutored, so as long as he was in the classroom for his lectures he could absorb any excess information that the teacher gave out.

Mathematics went through the same procedure, and by the time Alexander had settled in for History he was about ready to pass out before Timothy came bursting in, keeping the blond awake during class by teaching Alexander to make origami animals. The teachers never minded Alexander’s distraction as long as he wasn’t distracting others, as he was the top of his class.

Timothy was a saving grace in Alexander’s day, his light hazel eyes and wide smile could always brighten the blond’s day. The black haired boy was in a relationship with one of Actis’ students, Emily, and Alexander found that he spent quite a bit of his free time with the two of them. Neither Timothy nor Emily treated him any different than anyone else, and Alexander had opened up fast when he realized this. 

When the bell signalled lunch break, Alexander and Timothy headed out to the greens to eat like they did every day. The greens were a big area right smack-dab in the centre of the academy, filled with trees, flowers, and plants that littered the area randomly, making it seem more natural in comparison to a groomed garden of perfection.

As soon as the two boys stepped out of the doors, they were met with stares from every direction. Alexander was used to this, but Timothy was still unnerved by all of the attention Alexander brought and sidled behind the blond muttering “Merlin, save me” as they made their way across the plain.

Students randomly joined them as the two boys sat down, starting conversations amongst themselves as Alexander watched them all with a raise of his eyebrow. It was the only reaction he showed outwardly, but inside he was reeling with frustration just as he did every day.

None of the students ever _spoke_ to him, they just seemed to figure that they would receive more attention if they were physically closer to Alexander, making them seem important. This always frustrated the blond, as all he really wanted was to have a conversation like he always did with Timothy, but every time he would speak to another student it seemed like all they would do is try to appease Alexander by saying what they thought would please him best. Some of them would answer his questions with only compliments.

Grumbling quietly to himself as he pulled his lunch out, Timothy patted him on the back and gave him a sympathetic stare before starting up a rant about their race next weekend. The other boy always got exhilarated during the weeks before a race and when the day of the race finally arrived he would be out of his mind with excitement. Alexander had always enjoyed Timothy’s reactions to rowing because it showed his devotion to the sport, and as bow seat Timothy needed that excitement.

As the other boy rambled on about his new waterproof socks that would surely stop his feet from freezing like they did during every race, Alexander looked up from his food, his gaze meeting a curly brown head as it was drowned within the pages of a book. _Cadence_ , Alexander thought silently, nearly dropping his sandwich at the realization.

The brunette was sitting up against one of the willow trees the greens held, book in hand as he slouched forwards in concentration.  Alexander nearly snorted out loud at the book-like scene, choking on a piece of bread as Cadence swept a hand through those curly locks, his head lifting upwards as-

“Are you there, man?” Timothy’s questioning voice resounded in his ears as he snapped his head towards the black haired boy, jaw closing from its open stance as he reeled his thoughts in, trying to come up with something to say.

“Yeah, uhm, yes. I’m sorry, I was out of it for a second there.” He responded quietly, brows furrowing at Timothy’s questioning gaze before adding, “Waterproof socks sure are interesting.” He finished with a wink before Timothy shrugged nonchalantly and continued on.

“Alright, so as I was saying, these socks are pretty expensive but I think they’re totally worth it-“

And Alexander was gone again, as he glanced back towards the brunette and was met with a piercing green gaze. Alexander instinctively scrunched his nose, at a loss for what to do as Cadence’s face slowly began to sport a light flush of embarrassment from being caught staring before his hand reached up and waved gently at Alexander from afar, a small smile curving the edges of those lips as Cadence greeted the blond silently.

Alexander pursed his lips and willed himself as hard as possible to _not_ blush as he raised an immaculate hand of his own, giving a graceful wave in response as his own lips curved upwards unwittingly, growing so wide that his teeth showed before he realized what was happening. He turned his head towards Timothy, piercing steel eyes meeting light hazel as they questioned him silently before following the blond’s previous line of sight- his gaze landing on the brunette.

Alexander watched as Cadence gaped and quickly absorbed himself back into the book he was reading, flush spreading to his ears likely due to the attention he was getting from Alexander and Timothy.

“I didn’t know you had a friend other than me.” Timothy laughed as he knocked Alexander’s knee jokingly, the touch startling Alexander so hard he had to restrain a jump.

“I don’t, he’s not- we’re not friends.” The blond cursed silently to himself at his inability to form a coherent response, biting his tongue indignantly as Timothy stared at him with furrowed brows.

“It’s a good thing you know, you need more people like me in your life.” The black haired boy gloated, framing his face as if for a photo, his lips pursed before he burst out laughing, Alexander following suit.

His laughter faded, though, as he glanced up and saw that the brunette was gone. Alexander wondered if he’d scared Cadence off.

“Who needs friends when you have all of these conversational partners?” Alexander commented absentmindedly as he gestured towards the large group of students that surrounded him, all immersed in their own conversations. That got a snort from Timothy, his hands coming up to sweep through his short black hair as he smirked silently at the large group.

* * *

Alexander’s head lolled backwards fluidly as the bell signalling the end of the day _finally_ rang. As he opened his eyes, his gaze was met with an upside-down view of Timothy as he stuck his tongue out from above.

A bag was dropped in his lap that winded Alexander, his breath coming out in a loud huff as he sat up and glared at Timothy’s laughing back as he walked out of the classroom, Alexander following behind him.

“That could have seriously injured me, you pillock.” The blond muttered half-heartedly as they wandered through the open halls, steel and hazel eyes flashing as they were met with low sunlight when they reached outside.

“Emily and I are planning to rampage South Campus tonight, do you want to join us?” Timothy questioned with a garbled voice as he tried to stuff the rest of his lunch down before they reached said campus. Emily had never appreciated Timothy’s mangled eating habits and the black haired boy never seemed to finish the food he had on him.

Alexander snorted and rolled his eyes, turning to eye the boy beside him with a scrutinizing gaze.

“It’s a _Tuesday_ ,” he responded, eyes flashing with amusement before adding, “I thought you would have better ways to get into Emily’s pants than using drinking as an excuse.”

The flush that crept up Timothy’s cheeks was absolutely priceless, and Alexander couldn’t help but laugh as others stared, trying to figure out what was so funny.

“It’s not like you’re any better than I am, at least I’m in a relationship with someone.” Timothy accused with a laugh of his own, smirking at the abashed look that formed on Alexander’s face before his signature sneer replaced it.

“I don’t need a relationship, I have other forms of entertainment.” Alexander said with mock hurt, eyebrows raising in a wiggle as he pointed to his own right hand.

The laughter that erupted between the two boys at that point was loud enough to be heard a block away, Timothy sweeping a hand through his black strands as Alexander adjusted the strap of his backpack.

South campus was a fairly short walk. The train stopped at both stations and many preferred to hop on while it was stopped at the North campus to avoid walking and the hustle and bustle of so many people in the South campus, but Alexander always enjoyed the short walk because it allowed him some time to breathe fresh air.

The stares and offhand whispers, though, he could do without. Every now and then Alexander would make direct eye contact with one of his onlookers just to get a reaction out of them, doing that had always amused the blond.

A muffled squeal was heard before Alexander’s gaze erupted in bright yellow as Emily latched onto her boyfriend, having run from her place at the station. Her favourite colour was yellow and Alexander had yet to see her in any other colour.

“Timothy!” She exclaimed happily, placing a dramatic kiss on the boy’s cheek before a hand of his own wrapped around her small waist. “Hello, Alex!” She turned to him then, flashing a full-tooth grin as the blond’s lips curled up in a responding smile.

“Emily,” he responded casually, “good to see you.”

Timothy snickered as Emily reached up to place kiss on Alexander’s own cheek, the couple laughing as Alexander’s brows furrowed, wiping off his cheek with the back of his hand before rolling his eyes.

“Are you aware that your lovely boyfriend here is very... Hmm... How do I put this?” Alexander pondered, tapping the side of his face satirically before adding, “Sexually tense?”

“Alexander you absolute _prat_!” Timothy practically screamed, his face tomato red as Emily turned to him and laughed even more. Slapping her boyfriend on the shoulder with mock offense, her hand came up to her mouth in a look that was meant to be scandalous but showed that she was clearly trying to hide an amused smile at Timothy’s distress.

“Well, I’ll be off now.” Alexander smirked, giving the couple a light wave as he stepped forward to catch the oncoming train, a group of Actis students calling his name excitedly when they saw him separate from the two.

Flashing them a photo-smile, Alexander was bombarded with squeals and excited gossip as the girls tried to figure out exactly who the blond was staring at. Alexander turned towards Timothy, his nose scrunching slightly as the other boy saluted him stupidly, giving him a sympathetic yet slightly envious look as the blond stepped onto the waiting train.

Two things registered in his mind at that moment. One- the smell of _earth_ was prominent enough in the old coach that it caught Alexander off guard, and he stopped a second to take in the beautiful scent. Two- blazing green eyes. Cadence.

His breath hitched, fingers gripping the strap of his bag so tight his knuckles almost turned white- but the blond managed to hold himself back just barely.

Surprised green eyes kept contact with his own as he wandered over to the seat, _his_ seat, that Cadence had apparently left open for him as the brunette himself took the seat opposite.

Alexander released a breath as he sat down, nearly crying out loud when his knees brushed against Cadence’s as he adjusted himself, sending jolts of electricity down his spine as those piercing green eyes bore into his own.

“Hello,” he responded shakily, extraordinarily pleased that his voice didn’t quiver like it did in his mind before adding, “Cadence.”

“Hey, Alexander.” the brunette responded quietly, brows furrowing as he brushed his nose unconsciously. “I wasn’t expecting you to sit here today.” He added after, glancing down and shattering the connection that Alexander hadn’t realized was so strong until he started to breathe normally again. _If you didn’t expect me to sit here, why did you leave the seat open?_ He pondered quietly to himself with a smirk, keeping that piece of information to himself.

“What, you think that just because someone was in my seat yesterday that I would suddenly relinquish this beautiful spot?” He questioned in a cocky tone, attempting to put his own emotions to rest with humour as he gestured around with his hand.

His situation only grew worse, though, as Cadence let out a genuine laugh that sent a chill down the blond’s spine.

“Alright, I guess you’re more headstrong than I thought.” The brunette responded jokingly, a hand coming up to sweep those brown locks back.

Alexander huffed lightly, brows furrowing as he leaned back and crossed his arms, smirking at the other boy in a sudden wave of confidence meant to overpower the weakness he showed when around the other boy.

“Where did you disappear to at lunch today?” The blond questioned without thinking, scrunching his nose as he cursed silently to himself at the easy display of interest.

Cadence seemed to be caught off guard by this, his mouth opening slightly to form a response before closing as he connected that piercing gaze once more.

“I always head off early for my History lecture, it’s my favourite so I like to get a good seat.” He responded with a light cough, glancing out the window in embarrassment.

Alexander pondered this before responding. “If you want a seat, you should make it known that you want it.” He answered with a shrug, licking his lips before adding, “If you do that then people will automatically leave it for you every class.”

“I’m not like you,” Cadence responded in a slightly irritated tone, eyes narrowing as he nodded towards the blond, as if that would explain anything. “I can’t just make myself known, I’m too quiet.” He added after.

“You’re talking to me now, aren’t you?” Alexander responded, tapping his fingers along his arm as he watched Cadence’s eyes narrow further.

“This is different, I-” he cut himself off before finishing his sentence, an angry huff leaving his lips as he leaned towards the blond boy slightly. “You don’t understand.”

Alexander felt a sting ring through his chest, his fingers tightening against his arm at the feeling. _Why am I so hurt by his words? He’s not saying anything rude_. The blond thought quietly to himself, arms crossed tightly as he sneered at the brunette, eyes narrowing in frustration.

“Don’t just assume things about me, you absolute garb.” He spat out, huffing as he turned his gaze to the forest passing by outside, trying to miss the hurt look that passed across the brunette’s face at his snide remark.

“Whatever.” Cadence commented offhandedly, pulling out the book he was reading during lunch and cutting off all electrifying connections with the blond which was both a relief and a disappointment for Alexander.

The silence pressed onwards after that, and Alexander found that he could hardly breathe because of the slick tension that had formed between the two boys.

He had never meant to be rude, it was just that Cadence enticed such guttural reactions from him that he didn’t know how to respond.

_It’s never like this with Timothy_ , he thought absentmindedly, sniffing slightly as his nose was met with that beautiful earthy smell once more.

Alexander just _knew_ that these reactions were due to his body’s needs getting out of hand. It had been a full eighteen years of late-night wank sessions that induced only self-deprecation and regret for the blond, and his body craved what any eighteen year old male wanted. He stiffened as he thought about this, glancing over at the curly brown head that was set tersely in front of him.

A strangled sound left his lips as Cadence glanced up, a wary look on his face as he concentrated on the blond, and at that moment Alexander knew that the brunette was not focused on reading any more than he was on avoiding the situation.

“’I’m sorry.” The blond whispered, sighing as he dropped his face into a hand. It was out before he could think it, a situation which seemed to be a reoccurring thing for the two boys.

“What?” Cadence responded, his jaw dropping open as he stared at Alexander bluntly, a single finger lining the edge of one page in his book.

“I said I’m sorry.” Alexander commented tersely, meeting the brunette’s questioning gaze with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows.

“I heard you.” The brunette answered before adding, “Why are you apologizing?”

Alexander’s eyes narrowed even more at this, and he had to restrain a frustrated groan as his body was taught with irritation. His emotions soared, and it unnerved him more than anything that he simply couldn’t control himself when he was around the brunette.

“I’m sorry for being a pillock towards you.” He huffed out, not willing to meet Cadence’s gaze as he drummed his fingers absentmindedly on his knee in attempt to let some of his frustration out. “Shit.” He mumbled out, steel eyes meeting wide blazing green again as Alexander laughed quietly to himself.

“What’s wrong?” Cadence questioned in a worried tone, hand reaching above the table as if to comfort the blond before retreating quickly back down as if Cadence thought it would only make things worse. It was a good thing he did that, Alexander figured, as he would probably lose his mind at a physical touch from the brunette at that moment.

“Who are you, Cadence McNeil?” He questioned breathlessly before adding, “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Doing what to you? I’m utterly confused right now.” Cadence mumbled dumbly, book forgotten as he stared at the blond boy intensely, teeth worrying his bottom lip gently.

Alexander heaved a sigh as he ran a hand through his immaculate blond locks before responding. “This. You make me feel like I have no control over myself.”

“Oh,” Cadence whispered, “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me you tit.” Alexander snorted, his own hand reaching up to meet the brunette’s shoulder.

Before he could realize just what he was about to do, his palm met the heated fabric of Cadence’s shoulder and it sent shivers down the blond’s spine that he had to physically restrain as he felt the lean line of Cadence’s collarbone under the thin fabric of his school vest and top.

Alexander almost saw stars when Cadence gasped lightly, his shoulder raising with the breath as Alexander held him in a piercing gaze.

“I think it’s a good thing.” He whispered as he let his hand slide off of the brunette’s shoulder quickly, his palm tingling as if numb from the touch as he brought it back down to his lap.

Cadence’s eyes closed a fraction as Alexander withdrew his hand, an exhale leaving his lips before he regained his senses and slammed the book closed with a little more force than probably intended, his eyes following the sound as they rested on the leather cover.

Alexander was about to ask if the other boy was alright before a quivering voice reached his ears.

“Do you… I mean… Would you-” Cadence fumbled with his words, brushing his nose lightly as his brows narrowed. “Wouldyouliketovisitmyhousesometime?”

The question was quick and slurred and Alexander had to take a moment to decipher just what the heck the other boy had said, his brows raising a mile high after as he stared openly at Cadence, mouth hanging open slightly.

“Uh…”

“N-Not like that! Merlin… Oh my gods,” Cadence’s eyes flew open as a gentle flush crept up his neck, cheeks rose-pink as those blazing green eyes stared wide at Alexander, “I meant… Because you said you wanted to visit Burling… I thought that-” he cut himself off as if he realized he was rambling, a quiet “Ah…” resounding from his lips as he promptly looked down, cheeks stained cherry red by this point.

Alexander didn’t realize he was laughing until Cadence’s head snapped up, a confused look taking hold of his face as the blond’s laugh resounded throughout the quiet old train coach. Reaching a hand up to wipe away the tears that had formed at the corner of his eyes, Alexander snorted to himself as he snickered some more, finally regaining his breath as the brunette simply _watched_ him from across the seat as if he’d gone insane. _I probably have,_ he thought silently.

He didn’t mention to Cadence that he was laughing so hard because deep down that was the one thing he wanted to try with the other boy, and the irony of the situation was not lost on the blond as he shook his head, a hand sweeping his shaggy blond hair back from where it had fallen across his face.

Eyes met for the thousandth time, and Alexander sighed as the corners of his lips turned up in a smile.

“Sure. That sounds like fun.” He responded a moment after before reeling in his thoughts and adding, “I’d have to lie to my parents, though. If my mother ever found out I visited Burling she would probably lock me in the house.” He added after with a slight joking tone.

Cadence didn’t even bother to hide his surprise, a small smile of his own forming as he thumbed the book in his hands.

“I wasn’t actually expecting you to say yes…” He replied amusedly, a nervous snicker of his own leaving his lips. “Tomorrow, then?”

Alexander’s nod was almost instant.

* * *

As a comfortable silence filled the coach, Alexander’s senses were met once more with that ridiculously earthy scent. It smelled as if someone had dug up the earth and all of the smells of nature had been bottled into the old coach; as if Alexander had wandered into the forest himself and laid on the ground, and the blond found that it was doing absolute wonders for his mood. Or maybe that was Cadence.

_It’s both_ , Alexander sighed comfortably, willing to admit that to himself.

Cadence stood up halfway a few minutes later, reaching to open up the window as he leaned against the table and it was all Alexander could do to _not_ stare at the softly angled line of Cadence’s body as he leaned towards the window. As the blond’s eyes focused on the bottom of Cadence’s ear, he recognized the earthy smell immediately. It was coming from Cadence.

“What on earth did you do today that made you smell like you fell into a hole?” Alexander questioned offhandedly, leaning back in his seat as his arms crossed once more.

Cadence’s eyes narrowed suspiciously as he fell back into his own seat, an amused smirk pulling at the side of his lips. “Why were you smelling me?” He questioned in response, a huff of laughter leaving his lips as he watched Alexander begin to sport his own light flush.

“I could smell it from the moment I walked on the train, you knob.” He responded in a snarky tone, his nose scrunching slightly. “It’s so potent it smells like you bathed yourself in it.” He added after, raising an eyebrow as Cadence laughed and opened his bag, producing a large white sack.

“Well, you’re close enough I guess.” He responded as he undid the tie-strings, pushing the sac towards Alexander. The sac was full to the brim with… dirt?

“Merlin… Why on earth do you have a sack of dirt with you?” Alexander questioned with genuine interest, leaning forward to sniff the offending sac as it radiated that beautiful earthy scent.

“My mother grows a garden and the soil near the academy is much better than the sandy soil we have back home. We’re far enough away from the mountains and close enough to the beach that we don’t have access to the nice mountain soil.” He finished with a breath, pulling the sac back towards him and raising an eyebrow as the blond seemed to follow it before he realized what he was doing, pulling back.

“You’re one of the strangest people I’ve ever met, Cadence McNeil.” The blond commented after, though he could understand the other boy’s reasoning.

“As are you, Alexander Nottingham.” Cadence replied with a laugh, mocking Alexander for his use of Cadence’s full name.

The blond inhaled lightly, berating himself internally for even reacting the slightest bit to hearing the sound of his own name coming from the other boy’s lips.

The two boys fell silent after that, comfortable as they sat together.

* * *

When the train pulled up to his station, Alexander was already standing and ready, flashing the brunette a light smile and nodding towards him in a goodbye as he stepped off of the old coach, feet hitting the hard cement as he adjusted his bag.

As the train began to pull away, Alexander lost his breath as the reality of the situation dawned on him. “Oh my god…” He whispered aloud to himself, fingers gripping the strap of his bag tightly as he stared at the ground in front of him.

_I’m going to his house tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’m going to his house._

The thought stayed with him his entire way home, the strong stench of leather not even registering as his mind was lost, and by the time the sleek black car had reached his house Alexander had almost forgotten real life existed.

Elizabeth’s little blonde head appeared in the doorway as he stepped inside, her light squeal resounding through the marble doorway as she called out, “Alexander’s home!”

“Hello, Lizzy.” He mumbled out, smiling as he watched her head bob around the corner.

* * *

As Alexander laid in bed that night, moonlight shining silver across his floorboards as damp hair from his shower wetted his pillow, all the blond could think of was the arch of Cadence’s back as he reached across the table, and the small piece of skin right below the other boy’s ear.

_It’s been one day_ , he thought to himself with a shiver, guilty eyes scanning his ceiling for answers. _It’s been one day and you’ve gone and fallen for someone you just met_.

He rolled onto his side, facing the moon as it cast silver onto his pale skin. He knew that he could control himself. He’d been doing it nearly all of his life, and surely he could do it for the rest, but deep down he knew that Cadence sparked something inside of him that nobody else had ever managed to hit, and deep down he knew that pushing it away was going to be a hell of a lot harder than anything he’d ever done before.

As his eyes slid closed, breath coming out in soft warm puffs against his sheet, Alexander forced himself not to think about the oncoming day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks for visiting the second chapter. I notice a lot wrong with the first since it has been so long since I have written it, but I find that it has its charm as it is my first written work. :)   
> Feel free to leave a comment or kudos if you enjoy my work. Thank you!


	3. The Beginning

“Ugh…” Crusted eyes cracked open slowly as the first excruciating rays of sunlight poured into the humid room. The quiet mumble was breathed over soft pillows as limbs cascaded across the bed, a small puddle of drool cold against the side of his face when Cadence breathed in the fresh ocean air.

Green eyes snapped open quickly as he attempted to sit up, but his legs caught in the bedsheets and Cadence toppled over the side of his bed in an ungraceful heap of muttered curses, blankets, and limbs.

_He’s coming over today_ , the brunette thought offhandedly while staring up at the flags on his ceiling with half closed eyes. The force of his realization first thing in the morning brought Cadence straight out of sleep, but his limbs were sleep-heavy and his body wasn’t able to catch up with his mind.

“Shit…” he mumbled breathlessly as he forced himself to stand, boxers sagging on his hips as he pulled his shirt on half-heartedly. Stumbling into his bathroom, his startlingly green eyes took in a face covered in dry slobber from the last few hours of dead sleep. Wavy brown hair which could never be tamed was worse than ever on this Wednesday, and brushing it only resulted in looking like a mangled lion’s mane when he realized half of it was only held down by sleep formed tangles that curled around the back of his head.

He finished his morning routine and lazily put on his school uniform, throwing his book bag over his shoulder and squinting as his eyes met the horrifyingly bright rays of sun pouring into his room before he stumbled down the stairs.

“Good morning, mum.” He spoke with a yawn, rubbing his eyes as he sat at the kitchen table.

“Good morning sweetheart! Sleep well?” She called back from the porch, stepping inside lightly as the door creaked with its opening, warm ocean air filling the open room with a breeze.

“Alexander’s coming over today.” He reluctantly breathed out without answering her question, the sentence coming out in a mumbled, quiet mess that surely only his mother could decipher.

Cadence noticed the responding silence, and he glanced up to meet his mother’s surprised wide eyes with a nervous grin as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Alexander… He’s what? _Really_?” She responded finally, almost in a whisper as she swept her strawberry blonde locks behind her ear.

“I… I invited him over.” Cadence forced the words out, an embarrassed flush coming to rest on his cheeks as he glanced out towards the ocean. “I did it by accident, I wasn’t expecting him to say yes and now I don’t know what to do.”

His mother exhaled while looking at her son.

“You bring him home for a nice home-cooked meal made by Anna-Marie McNeil herself, that’s what you do.” His mother responded cheerily, smirking towards her son with an honest look in her eyes.

“You’re not bothered? Surprised? Angry?” He questioned with a raised eyebrow, noting the way her hands fidgeted at her sides.

“Surprised, sure. But why on earth would I be bothered or angry? Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to bring a friend home?” She shot back with a genuine smile, sitting down across the table from Cadence as she reached out to place a hand over his.

“He’s not really my friend,” Cadence murmured, glancing at his mother as he met her piercing green stare with his own. “Well, he’s already more of a friend than anyone else I’ve met, I guess.” He added as an afterthought, brushing his nose slightly as a gentle flush cascaded across his cheeks.

“It doesn’t matter who or what he is, if you felt comfortable inviting him over, I am comfortable also.” His mother said with an exhale, brushing her fingers over Cadence’s knuckles in an attempt to calm his frazzled state of mind. “Even if you invited him over by accident.” She finished with a wink, smirking slightly as she stood up and walked into the kitchen, Cadence following behind her.

“I have a surprise for you today after school,” she commented, fixing two bowls of cereal for her and Cadence as they sat down to eat before finishing after, “well, I don’t have it yet but I will by the time you boys get home.”

Cadence nearly choked on his cereal at the nonchalant way his mother commented about Alexander coming home with him as if it were a normal occurrence before his curiosity piqued and he glanced at his mother with amused eyes.

“What is it?” He asked, even though he knew she wouldn’t tell him the answer. It was a surprise, after all.

“You’ll just have to see!” She jeered happily, taking the bowls back into the kitchen before ushering Cadence up. “Off to school now or you’ll be late, we can talk later tonight if you want.”

“Yes please.” Cadence responded as he slid into his shoes, kissing his mother on the forehead and muttering a goodbye as he shut the door.

* * *

 

Classes continued on as usual, and Cadence found himself drifting off during his last block. Unsurprisingly it was mathematics; the brunette was far ahead of most of his class with his exceptional skills, and thus the lecture bored him immensely.

His eyes scanned the classroom as their teacher blared on about the importance of calculus in modern day technology, but Cadence’s mind was elsewhere. Blue eyes flashed through his mind as _something_ thrummed through his body in resonating waves, and Cadence wasn’t sure if it was excitement or nerves.

_Probably both_ , he thought with a sigh.

It had been less than three days since the start of the school year, and so much in Cadence’s everyday life had changed. He now had the most popular boy in school coming home with him- _oh gods, that sounds strange_ , Cadence flushed as he ended the thought before it continued.

Unsurprisingly, his eighteen year old brain couldn’t rid itself of sexual innuendos and the brunette was finding that it was wreaking havoc with his nerves.

Considering a relationship with Alexander Nottingham made him laugh. _Why would anyone like him ever want a relationship with someone like me?_

Cadence exhaled shakily as he turned to look out of the window, an elbow propped up on the desk with a hand across his cheek to keep him stable.

Throughout his life he’d thought about growing up, falling in love, and marrying someone- but Cadence’s father had certain reservations and opinions towards love that had implemented themselves into the brunette’s brain.

Two men were not in his father’s accepted range of values.

Cadence wasn’t straight, or gay, Cadence wasn’t _anything_. He’d always found that his values never came from labels, more-so he figured that eventually he would end up falling in love, and whoever that was with- it didn’t matter to the brunette.

He and his father had never been particularly close. His father had started pursuing business and marketing shortly after Cadence was born, and while he was present in his and his mother’s lives, Cadence found that he never really formed a relationship with his father.

He hadn’t minded this, because his family had always been glued together at the core which meant that he didn’t _need_ a strong bond with his father, but ever since his father had gained a name in international relations his strong opinions had skyrocketed.

In America, Cadence found, homosexuality was not nearly as accepted as he had heard over newscasts and mass media. He had discovered this when his father arrived home one winter weekend, and Cadence had listened to him ramble on to his mother for _hours_ about how inherently _wrong_ it was to be with the same gender, and this was when Cadence realized that his prospects about relationships could pose him problems in the future.

This was part of the reason that Cadence avoided thinking about relationships at all. It wasn’t hard for the brunette as he was rarely around people long enough to develop feelings for them, but when he found his eyes drifting towards males along with females, his stability would break a little every single time.

He had forced himself to stop thinking about his father’s opinions, forced himself to think that his avoidance of relationships was because of his isolated lifestyle, but ever since Nottingham busted into his life, the prospects of a same sex relationship brought the importance of those opinions back.

Alexander Nottingham had pushed into his life quicker than Cadence could account for, and he was finding that those blue eyes tugged at his heart in a way that he had never experienced before. _And now he’s coming to my house. He’s going to be in my room_ , Cadence thought to himself as a flush rose on his cheeks.

_Merlin, I’m an eighteen year old boy. Get over it, it’s not that big of a deal_ , he pondered after, forcing the images that arose in his mind to die down. It wasn’t _his_ fault that Alexander was so attractive, but at the same time he felt like he was violating the friendliness Alexander showed him when he thought about the blond boy that way.

* * *

 

When the bell rang at the end of the day and Cadence had positioned himself on the train, he couldn’t shake the nervousness that resounded through his body. He had avoided going out to the greens for lunch in fear that he would see Alexander again, gods forbid.

_Merlin… I can’t believe I did that_ , Cadence thought to himself as he stared out of the scratched, old windows at the slowly passing campus. _He looked so powerful, so confident. I don’t understand how it’s possible for someone to be so perfect._

His thoughts captured him until those dreaded bells rang signalling that the train had reached South Campus, and Cadence found himself fidgeting agitatedly as he glanced out the window, and reminiscent of a few days prior, Alexander’s eyes met his own.

At this point, Cadence found himself feeling a multitude of things: nervousness, shyness, embarrassment; but the feeling that captured the rest and capped it all down was friendliness.

The friendliness in those eyes blew Cadence away and he found himself instantly calmed as a relieved sigh left his lips. He lifted a hand and waved before scratching the back of his neck, and Cadence chose to ignore the way his fingertips trembled slightly against his skin from the passing emotions.

Alexander waved to his friends, and Cadence noted the presence of the black haired boy he had seen the day prior. When he stepped onto the train, the brunette’s world shifted as the reality of the situation finally hit him. _He’s coming over to my house_ now.

Alexander slid into the seat across from him with a content sigh as he dropped his schoolbag on the table between them, and he was pretty sure that he was hallucinating when he considered the fact that Alexander looked like a normal human being with his shaggy hair and one corner of his lips turned upwards in a friendly smirk.

Cadence glanced up as Alexander’s fingers snapped in front of his face, but his attention didn’t register as he was caught in the memory of Monday afternoon when he had first spoken to the blond. The smirking blond boy with friendly eyes gazing at him now was nowhere near reminiscent of the sneering, confident, egotistical arse that he had met two days prior.

“I thought you had left me for a moment there.” Alexander commented in an amused tone as his fingers drummed absentmindedly on the table between them.

“Sorry,” Cadence responded as the corners of his mouth turned upwards into a smile. “I tend to do that a lot, it seems.” He added after before glancing away. _I’ve never noticed, I’m never around anyone long enough to reach a point of recognizing things,_ the brunette thought before chastising himself. _It’s only been two days._

“It seems so.” Alexander snorted lightly. “It’s quite entertaining, honestly. I could probably draw on you without you noticing when you zone out like that.” He commented offhandedly after as he wiggled his eyebrows towards Cadence which got the brunette laughing along with him.

The train continued on as both boys watched the forest pass by in a blur of green and brown, the sound of the train rolling along its rails echoed aloud in the rickety old car. Cadence found himself feeling relaxed for the first time that day; his nerves at seeing Alexander had taken hold of him in the morning and hadn’t let up until he laid eyes on the blond boy, and the irony of that was not lost on him.

After a few minutes, Alexander turned to him and spoke.

“So…” The blond muttered quietly while lacing his fingers together on the table in front of them. “You _have_ told your family that I am coming over, right?” He questioned with a nervous laugh, and Cadence realized that Alexander was probably worried about Cadence’s parents calling his own and blowing Alexander’s cover since his mother wouldn’t want him anywhere near Burling.

“Don’t worry, I told my mom this morning.” Cadence responded with a chuckle; and then upon seeing the waiting look he added, “My dad is in New York for a business trip, he won’t be back for a week or two.”

“You live alone with your mom? That must be lonely.” The blond responded with a snort, eyes softening as Cadence met his pointed stare.

“It’s not too bad. Burling is quiet and I’ve lived there since I was born so I’m used to it.” He sighed as he responded, a hand coming up to brush his nose as he studied Alexander’s bemused expression.

“I don’t think I could handle the quiet. My mother and father always have company over whether it be for business meetings for to flaunt themselves, and my little sister Elizabeth never leaves me alone. She’s eight years old and she has friends over often but she likes hearing stories about Tacton and my rowing team.” Alexander finished with a lazy smile before a flush of realization hit his cheeks; he’d rambled on revealing personal information. “Sorry.” He whispered quietly after before looking down.

Cadence stared at the blond head in front of him with confusion before licking his lips. _Sorry for what?_

“You have a little sister? Will she be going to Actis? What’s it like having a sibling?” Cadence questioned back rapidly with interest while fidgeting in his seat.

Alexander glanced up at him with a look that Cadence couldn’t decipher before he let out a laugh, a laugh that sparked Cadence’s nerves to the core and made his jaw drop just _slightly_ as he marveled at Alexander’s grin.

“Yes, I have a little sister. Didn’t I say that already?” Alexander responded in a snide tone, smirking at Cadence’s embarrassed flush. “No, she’s homeschooled. My parents think that both Nottingham children shouldn’t be in school. They think that it’s too much of a ‘social responsibility’.” He paused with a sigh before continuing, “It’s quite frustrating when I want to spend time alone but it’s really nice having someone around to talk to who is genuinely interested in what I have to say and not just trying to get into my good books.” The blond finished with a huff as he glanced out of the window.

_I’m genuinely interested in what you have to say_ , Cadence thought offhandedly.

“I’ve been homeschooled until I was enrolled in Tacton, it’s why I’m so used to being around the quiet.” He muttered embarrassedly as a nervous flush hit his cheekbones. _I’ve never told anyone that before_.

He smiled lightly at the surprise that appeared on Alexander’s face before the blond masked it off as slight interest.

“Really? No wonder you’re so introverted. Was it lonely?” Alexander questioned without realizing the chord it struck within Cadence.

“You have no idea.” The brunette responded with a weary sigh before facing Alexander, swiping a nervous hand through his brown locks. “You’re the first friend I’ve ever brought home.” He added after as his brows furrowed at the confession. _Why did I say that? I’m probably going to scare him off. Someone like Alexander Nottingham could ruin my life with that information._

At that, Alexander’s jaw dropped and he didn’t bother hiding his surprise as he tried to form a response, his face sporting a heated flush for reasons Cadence couldn’t understand, which was becoming common for the brunette.

“Really?” Came the choked reply, and Cadence laughed out loud.

“Yes, really. I’m not close with anyone. Nobody really pays attention to me, plus, by our age most people already have a solid group of friends.” He commented as if that were a logical fact, glancing at the blond as he tried to understand Cadence’s words.

Alexander coughed lightly as he tried to compose himself.

“Do you have _any_ friends?” He questioned in response, and Cadence glanced at the table dumbly as he tried to hide the hurt and embarrassed expression that crossed his features at the blond’s words. “Shit- Cadence I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that.” Came the added response, and Cadence almost jumped out of his seat as he felt warmth covering one of his hands on the table.

Heat radiated from the contact of Alexander’s hand against his own and he briefly wondered if Alexander was feeling the same spark of nerves every time the train rattled and their hands moved together. _That’s it, I’ve finally lost it. I’ve gone insane_ , Cadence thought to himself as he tried to control his trembling fingers and rising heart rate.

“I- ah… it’s not that bad. I’m so used to it that I don’t really think I’m capable of handling a lot of friends at this point.” He responded in a bad attempt at casualness as he flushed from embarrassment and nerves. When he noticed the lack of response from Alexander, Cadence lifted his thumb and squeezed the side of Alexander’s hand gently.

What he wasn’t expecting, was the way that Alexander’s entire body tensed while his bottom lip was sucked in-between teeth as he jerked his hand back so quick it was like he had been burnt, and Cadence briefly wondered if he’d finally scared the blond boy into being uncomfortable.

The two of them fell into silence after that. Not that it was awkward, but more-so a comfortable acceptance of the fact that there was really no need to talk about anything else as they’d have the whole night to spend time with each other.

Cadence frowned at this thought, brushing his nose as he glanced up at the blond, noting a stray hair on the top of his head. _This is going to be a long night,_ he thought to himself before exhaling and turning to look out of the misty window.

* * *

 

He jerked awake as bright rays of sunlight pierced his closed eyelids as they reflected off of the ocean they were approaching. Amused blue eyes met his own as he swept a hand through his hair, fixing his ruffled uniform absentmindedly as he flashed Alexander a sheepish grin.

“Is it always this beautiful?” Questioned a breathy voice across from him, and Cadence followed Alexander’s captured stare as his eyes were met with the calm ocean and piercing orange mountains as they got closer.

“Yeah, yeah it really is.” He commented with a yawn.

Alexander snorted as he tore his gaze from the window.

When the train reached the station both boys got off lazily, tired with the haze of sitting down for so long. When Cadence was met with Alexander’s questioning gaze he pointed towards the open air on one side of the station, and both of them set off towards Cadence’s house.

A smirk lit his lips as he glanced towards the blond, pure enchantment and interest lighting up Alexander’s high cheekbones and gleaming eyes as he stared out across Burling.

“This is probably the nicest time of year for weather, it’s not overly hot and everything is still overwhelmingly beautiful.” Cadence muttered as he gave a once-over to the landscape around him.

“As much as the house my family lives in is nice, the best views that we get are rolling hills. There’s too much green, but everything is so open here.” Alexander responded dazedly.

By the time both boys reached the house, Cadence was fidgeting with the strap on his bag with nerves. The cold temperature of the doorknob centered him as he opened the door to his house, and before Cadence could introduce Alexander to his life, a ball of grey fur attached itself to the bottom of his pants.

He didn’t have time to process the situation while his mother guided Alexander into the house with a dazzlingly sweet smile as his thoughts were too wrapped up in the tiny claws that dug into the skin of his ankle and the soft mews that stole his breath away.

It was a kitten. Hisad bought a kitten. _This must have been the surprise_ , Cadence thought to himself as reached down, picking up the soft ball easily enough as the kitten was small enough to fit in his hand. _She bought a kitten. Alexander Nottingham is in my house and my mother bought a kitten._

“So? What do you think? Good surprise?” His mother questioned excitedly as she looked at Cadence. Alexander stood beside her with a grin, and Cadence couldn’t help but notice how out of place he looked in their worn-in family home.

“Best surprise. Why did you buy a kitten? What’s it’s name?” He responded quickly, glancing at Alexander and meeting amused blue eyes with his own.

“Well, I was thinking Storm. Y’know, because of the fur…” She trailed off, flashing a nervous grin towards Cadence as she wrung a cat toy in her hands. “Plus, it’s a unisex name so it will work if we have the sex wrong. Right now Storm is a ‘he’.” She finished with a laugh.

“I think it’s great. It’s unique.” He flashed a smile back towards his mother before bringing the kitten over to Alexander, gesturing for him to take Storm. “Hold him, he’s really soft.”

Alexander reached forward at this, because how could he possibly deny a kitten, and their hands brushed gently as he scooped Storm from Cadence’s hands. The smile that lit up his face as he cradled the small animal in his hands made Cadence’s heart skip a beat.

“I’ve never had a cat before, I had no idea they were so soft. My parents don’t like the idea of having animal hair all over the house.” Alexander commented absentmindedly as he stroked Storm’s head with two fingers.

“Neither have we, but we have had dogs.” Cadence responded as he gave his mom an embarrassed laugh, feeling relaxed at how content she looked. _I guess I shouldn’t have been worried at all. It’s not nearly as awkward as I was expecting._

Cadence watched as Alexander sat down swiftly into one of the old wooden chairs that rested neatly around the dining room table as he continued to play with Storm, his eyes glancing up every so often to be caught by the shimmering ocean that could be seen from the porch.

Snorting at his mother’s not-so-subtle attempt at getting his attention by jerking her head aggressively towards the kitchen, he followed her in and sat down on top of the counter, making sure to keep an eye on Alexander as he sat absorbed only a dozen feet away.

“Oh, sweetheart. He’s a very nice boy!” She whispered loudly, flashing Cadence a smile as she began to finish her work on their dinner. “Now I understand why you chose to invite him over, he has such an inviting energy.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” He responded as he brushed his nose unconsciously. “He’s so strange, I’ve seen so many different, equally compelling sides of him that sometimes I can’t understand what he’s thinking. We’ve only been speaking to each other for three days, and now he’s over at my house. Everything is moving so quickly but I can’t help but think about how _normal_ it all feels.” Cadence finished with an exhale, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck as he watched his mother sheepishly.

“You’ll get to know him, in time. That’s how life works… it always moves so fast that you’re never able to stabilize yourself. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy it.” She finished with a smile, waving him off as she began to focus on her work. Cadence snorted at this, hopping off of the counter as he glanced towards the blond.

“Hey… Do you want to go out to the beach? I know you’ve always wanted to come to Burling because of the views, and they’re always beautiful during the sunset.” Cadence commented in a louder tone as he walked over to stand near Alexander at the table, gesturing with one hand dramatically towards the beach with a laugh.

Alexander looked up with a slight jump, as he had been too absorbed in Storm to even notice the brunette coming. As soon as their eyes met, a smile crossed his face and he nodded lightly.

“Yes, I would _really_ like that. I don’t think I’ve ever been to the beach during a sunset.” He finished in a breathy tone, clearly excited at the idea as he set Storm down on the ground, standing up while he ran a hand through blond hair.

Cadence couldn’t help but let out a snort as he looked down at the sound of short mews. Storm had attached himself to Alexander’s leg, clearly displeased at being put down.

“I think he likes you.” Cadence commented offhandedly as he pinched between his brows, holding back a laugh. “I think that’s a good thing.”

* * *

 

By the time the two boys reached the beach, the sun was already beneath the horizon line. Golden hues lined with pink and orange danced across the sky as light rays reflected off of the clouds. As Cadence looked across the vast expanse of beach that spread out from them, he figured it was a pretty nice day for Alexander to visit.

“Sooo, what do you think?” He questioned cheerily, turning back towards Alexander as his feet dug into the sand. Both of them had taken their shoes and socks off for the sake of keeping their uniforms clean, and Cadence found that the mix of warm top-sand and the moist sand beneath was doing wonders for his mood as his toes anchored themselves beneath the ground.

Alexander let out a long sigh before responding, his hands resting gently in his pockets as he glanced out towards the horizon line.

“I think it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.” He responded quietly as he turned towards Cadence. “I also think that I’m really envious of the fact that you live here.” He added after with a laugh, one corner of his lip turning up in a light smirk as he regarded the brunette.

“Well, you’re welcome to visit any time you want.” Cadence responded genuinely, brows furrowing gently as he realized how open the invitation was. _Oh well, mom did say to go with it_ , he thought to himself as he tried to reassure his mind that Alexander Nottingham surely wouldn’t want to visit all that often as he probably had a multitude of friends to have a better time with.

Obviously Alexander had noticed his sudden brooding mood as he stepped towards the brunette, eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion.

“What’s wrong?” Came the quiet question, and Cadence let out a sigh as he realized he’d been caught.

“Nothing, it’s just…” He trailed off, exhaling as he brushed his nose. “Why did you really come home with me today?” He added after before internally groaning at how rude the question sounded. “It’s not that I’m not enjoying myself, it’s just- why me? I’m sure you have friends who could entertain you a lot more than I can, plus if you really wanted to just visit for the views you didn’t even have to come to my house.” He finished tentatively.

“Excuse me?” Alexander responded, brows furrowing as his lip upturned in a slight sneer.

_Oh Merlin, what have I done?_ Cadence thought as he gripped his pant leg lightly with one hand.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that you’re the first person I’ve ever had visit my house, and not only are you the first person but you’re _Alexander Nottingham_. That may not seem like much to you, but you are the opposite of who I am, you’re everything that I’m not.” Cadence finished as he looked down at the sand apprehensively. He’d spewed words without realizing how much they could hurt and he wasn’t sure how to go about fixing the situation.

Alexander let out a long sigh as he glanced out towards the ocean once more, taking a long time to respond.

“I’m so _fucking_ tired of _everybody_ saying things like that.” He muttered quietly before adding, “I am no better than you in any way. The only difference between us is my parents’ wealth, and quite honestly you and your family are much humbler than my family in that regard.” He finished with a sigh, worrying his bottom lip between teeth, and Cadence had to put a large amount of effort into focusing on his words and not the way Alexander’s teeth abused the skin. “Nobody sees me as a person. Everybody looks at me as if I’m some sort of unearthly entity that can’t even be compared to other people.” Cadence snorted at this, guilty of the thought himself. “I’m a human being, in fact I’m not nearly as incredible as some of the students in Tacton, including you.” Alexander finished quietly, so much so that Cadence had to lean in to hear the end of his sentence, an embarrassed flush covering his cheeks as he sat down on the sand. He really didn’t know how to respond.

Alexander continued on, encouraged by the responding silence. “Cadence… I’ve tried telling this to you before, but I really don’t have that many ‘friends’. Sure, I have dozens, maybe hundreds of people who adore my wealth and the image of who they think I am, but I don’t have friends. The only friends I have are Timothy and his girlfriend Emily. They treat me like I’m like anyone else.” He finished with furrowed brows as he fell gracefully beside Cadence. Eyes met as Alexander turned to him and flashed a light smile. “Those two, and now you. I consider you my friend, Cadence. Friends don’t use each other for any sort of gain. You make me feel normal, I enjoy spending time with you.” He finished finally, brows unfurrowing as Alexander looked down towards the sand.

Cadence took a long time to respond, lost in thought as he tried to grab a hold on what Alexander had told him.

“It’s been less than three days, less than three days and you’ve busted into my life easier than anyone else ever has. You’re nothing like I’d expected, I’m so sorry that I ever formed an opinion like that about you. You’ve brought more excitement into my life than the past years I’ve spent in Tacton combined, and it’s only been less than three days.” He commented, nose scrunching at his repetition. “I don’t know how to handle the rapid movement of everything, but I do know that I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. I consider you my friend, too.” Cadence finished with a smile, watching the waves close in.

Alexander snorted lightly before responding.

“Tell me about it. It has been really fast for me, too. It’s been a great start to the year though.” He commented with a light smirk. Cadence caught his eye and Alexander flashed a smile that was so genuine it sent Cadence’s heart rate through the roof as he let out a nervous laugh, brushing his nose gently.

“I agree.” He added to Alexander’s comment as he shifted in the sand, noting the way the sun’s golden hues lit Alexander’s pale skin. _He looks like he’s glowing_ , Cadence thought to himself.

Both boys fell into a comfortable silence after that, sitting with their arms behind their backs in the sand as they watched the sky turn into twilight.

“Shit!” Alexander broke the silence abruptly, and Cadence jumped slightly at the sudden outburst, eyebrows raising as he turned to look at Alexander as he fumbled with the sleeve of his uniform in an attempt to find his watch. “What time is it? Oh Merlin, I already know it’s too late. I didn’t even think about that. What am I going to do?” Alexander commented rapidly as he stood up quickly, sand falling off of him like stardust.

“What’s wrong?” Cadence questioned with furrowed brows as he licked his lips gently, looking up at a frantic Alexander with slight concern.

At this, Alexander stopped abruptly and turned towards Cadence, letting out a heavy sigh as he ran a nervous hand through blond hair.

“I didn’t even consider how I would get home tonight. The trains don’t run this late to my station.” He responded quietly, fidgeting nervously at the hem of his shirt as he stared down at Cadence.

“Oh. Oh, well you’re welcome to stay at my place if you want.” Cadence responded, pleased that the twilight hid the flush that rose on his cheeks as he said it. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but the sudden thought of Alexander staying over at his house made him feel… Uncomfortable? No, that wasn’t it. It made him think about things that made his flush even brighter.

Alexander seemed to hesitate at that, and Cadence wondered if he would refuse, but the blond gave a curt nod of acceptance, flashing Cadence a sheepish grin.

“I’m so sorry. For someone who’s normally so on top of things I can’t believe I didn’t think about getting home.” Alexander commented in a lighthearted apology as his hand reached out towards Cadence in an offering to help him up.

Hesitating for only a moment, Cadence reached up and grasped Alexander’s hand, ignoring the way the sand on his palm caused friction to form between their tightly enclosed limbs as he pulled himself up, surprised at the unbridled strength Alexander hand. _I suppose rowing is a good workout_ , he thought to himself.

“It’s really alright. Mom’s probably finished dinner now anyways.” Cadence responded, hoping his emotion didn’t show through the tone of his words.

* * *

 

By the time both boys reached Cadence’s house, his mom had prepared a full meal complete with chicken, vegetables, potatoes, homemade bread, and Cadence’s favourite fresh-squeezed orange juice.

“Wow…” Alexander commented offhandedly when they were finished, leaning back in his seat with a hand on his stomach as he let out a laugh.

Cadence glanced at his mother and then at the blond, a smile forming on his lips as he regarded Alexander’s slightly dishevelled looks as he finished his own plate.

“Good?” He questioned lightly, shooting his mom a smirk.

Warm light cascaded across the table, accenting the full colours and happy atmosphere that surrounded the three of them as they ate to the sound of his mother’s playlist that she’d put on the speakers in their living room. 

“Better than good. Best.” Came the chuckled response. “Your cooking is delicious. My parents like ‘fancy’ foods, and while they’re good there is no substance to them… this dinner was hearty and it felt like it was prepared with genuine appreciation and care. Thank you.” Alexander finished as he looked at Cadence’s mother with honesty.

Strawberry blond hair was pushed behind two ears as she regarded Alexander with a warm smile, her eyes bright with pride and acceptance.

“Thank you, Alexander. You’re an absolute sweetheart, you are welcome in my house anytime!” His mother responded before flashing a grin, and Cadence laughed as Storm’s head popped up from her lap over the table in attempt to eat some of the leftover food on his mother’s plate.

* * *

 

Both of them had stayed and helped Cadence’s mother clean up for the evening, and by the time they finished both boys were almost falling over with exhaustion.

Cadence meandered his way down the stairs with two mattresses in hand, tossing both of them down onto the living room floor as he looked at Alexander sheepishly, a hand behind his head as he regarded the blond.

“We don’t have a guest bedroom, there’s no way I’m making you sleep on a couch, and I wouldn’t give you my bed because let’s be honest, it’s really uncomfortable.” Cadence laughed, watching Storm curl up on one of the mattresses. “So this is the best we’ve got, is that okay?” He questioned after.

“Definitely, anything is fine with me.” Alexander responded as he regarded the mattresses with a fond look, and Cadence figured this was probably the first time Alexander had slept on the floor, let alone on a mattress and not a bed.

They fixed the sheets quickly, Alexander giving Cadence a nervous grin as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, and Cadence realized only then that Alexander didn’t have any clothes to change into.

His heart nearly burst out of his chest when he tossed Alexander a clean long-sleeved pajama shirt and pants, and the blond instantly started sliding off his jumper, revealing a patch of toned, pale skin on his abdomen.

Needless to say, Cadence left the room faster than he ever had in his life, face displaying everything as he shuffled down the stairs trying to think about anything but the want to place a hand on Alexander’s waist to feel the warm, soft skin there.

Alexander took the mattress that Storm had claimed, blankets and pillows cascaded across the both of them as moonlight shone in from the porch, the house silent.

“I really enjoyed today.” The blond muttered into the quiet as he turned towards Cadence, who was sitting cross legged reading a book in a pair of pajama shorts and a tank-top. “Your house is so welcoming and warm. Only you and your mom are here and yet your house is so lively.”

Cadence glanced up at this, brows furrowing as he looked at Alexander who was leaning on his side, an arm propping up his head. _Why does he always have to look so perfect?_ He thought to himself before responding.

“Thank you. I’m appreciative of my relationship with my mother… she brings so much joy into my life.” Cadence responded genuinely as he slid his finger across one of the pages in his book, shutting it as he flopped backwards onto the bed. 

“I wish I was close with my mother.” The blond responded quietly, pointed stare boring into Cadence as he turned to meet Alexander’s eyes.

They laid there, just like that, as the moonlight shone in through the open porch and the sound of ocean waves resounded quietly in the room.

“This is just so weird.” Cadence couldn’t help but utter, feeling a laugh rise in him as he added, “Alexander Nottingham is in my house.”

“Tell me about it, Timothy has never even been to my house.” Alexander responded, and both boys burst into laughter, breaking the peaceful silence as they kept eye contact.

_I never would have expected this_ , Cadence thought to himself as he exhaled, watching as Alexander stroked Storm across the head. _Friendship. He’s just like anyone else._

He watched Alexander silently for a while after that, admiring the way the moonlight danced off of his pale skin, or how his eyelashes framed his cheekbones when he turned to the side, and even how Alexander’s shaggy blond hair tickled the sides of his cheeks as he looked down to focus on Storm.

Okay, it was more than that. He watched as Alexander’s collarbones shifted underneath _his_ shirt when he moved, and the pointed perfection of his immaculate fingers as they pushed through Storm’s fur, and the last thought Cadence had before he fell asleep that night was that he was absolutely _fucked_.

He drifted into sleep, blissfully unaware of the blue eyes that lingered on him for quite a while after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! The third chapter is up! 
> 
> I'm still in the process of writing the fourth chapter but I am really pleased with how it is coming along so far :) Finally getting to the point where these boys begin getting closer!
> 
> For those wondering- this story is going to be very long and Cadence's and Alexander's relationship is meant to be a slow-build so I apologize for those of you who would like it to happen quicker!
> 
> As always please feel free to leave a comment or a review if you like what I have written so far!
> 
> See you soon!


	4. A Complicated Day

All Alexander wanted to do was sleep.

He was in the perfect position, blankets curled around his body with the ideal balance between the heat of the bed underneath him and the cool morning breeze that cascaded across his feet as his toes poked out into the open air.

But, something was off. In his sleep-induced haze, he could hear someone breathing softly near him, and he felt something vibrating gently against his side.

Now, this wasn’t a strange occurrence for the blond, in that he often had female partners over in the evenings to satisfy his family’s questions, but he couldn’t remember ever waking up with such a dreadfully content feeling.

His nose scrunched slightly as he consciously became aware of these things, and despite the blissful comfort he felt, he forced his eyes open and choked silently as his gaze was met with the soft, sleeping features of Cadence just a few feet away from him. As his eyes glided over the gentle brown eyelashes that framed his friend’s cheeks, down to his sleep-swollen lips stained cherry red from drool, Alexander became increasingly aware of his heartrate and the dangerous direction of his blood flow.

Forcing himself to sit up and ignore the dangerous thoughts, he felt something thump against the mattress as a small, obviously annoyed ‘mew’ resounded throughout the quiet living room.

Storm.

The small kitten had curled against the blond as he slept, securing a spot where Alexander’s waist met his hipbone. Sliding a hand underneath Storm’s small stomach, the blond lifted him up and placed him on the ground beside his mattress. He had always loved cats, but he had never imagined himself with one, let alone with one on the floor of Cadence McNeil’s living room.

 _It shouldn’t be like this. I shouldn’t be like this,_ he thought to himself silently as his gaze landed on Cadence once more. He had spent so many years avoiding his feelings and within just a few days the quiet green-eyed boy who laid beside him had gone and thrown that all away.

He watched the brunet silently, eyes following the gentle movements of Cadence’s diaphragm as he breathed.

He knew it wasn’t Cadence’s fault; he knew deep down that Cadence would probably hate him if he ever found out the terrible feelings that Alexander harboured towards him.

Pondering this, Alexander moved to push one hand through his messy blond locks, immediately freezing as the realization hit that he wasn’t wearing his own clothing. The gentle scent of a different laundry detergent than his own hit his nostrils as he attempted to wrap his sleep-foggy thoughts around the entire situation.

 _I’m fine. I can fix this,_ he thought again, bracing himself against his own raging emotions as he thought of how to strengthen his control. The cool morning breeze cascading throughout the living room helped settle his mind as he glanced over at the sleeping boy beside him. Eyes narrowing, Alexander smirked silently to himself.  

He knew exactly what to do.

He drew a breath, steeling himself as he leant over towards the brunet, reaching a single immaculate hand out towards Cadence and gently laying it upon Cadence’s own as it rested beside his ragged hair on the pillow.

Every thought he had flew out of his mind as he felt the softness of Cadence’s skin underneath his own, the warmth from his hand seeping into Alexander’s. The nerves in his fingertips sparked, sending shivers down his spine as he let out a shaky exhale.

 _You can do this, you’re okay_ , he thought to himself as he gently brushed his thumb across the soft expanse of Cadence’s skin, feeling Cadence’s warm breath as it landed on his fingers.

Said fingers twitched slightly, and a long, content sigh escaped Cadence’s parted lips as his eyes opened slowly, coming to rest on Alexander’s own.

Alexander could feel his face begin to redden as his heart nearly beat out of his chest, those green eyes digging into him.

It was at this moment, in the cool morning on the floor of Cadence’s living room as his hand rested upon the brunet’s, sleep-hazy green eyes pouring questions into his own terrified ones, that Alexander realized how utterly deep he had already fallen.

His hand jerked back automatically as if he had been burnt when he regained his thoughts, head turning away to hide the red that cascaded across his cheeks as he tried to contain himself. He’d let Cadence see directly into his eyes, he’d let him see _everything_.

 _Let’s hope he’s too tired to analyse anything_ , Alexander thought to himself in attempt to calm his raging nerves.

“Good morning. I figured I would wake you, I need to leave early for my rowing practice and I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. I may also need some help in finding my way back to the train station.” Alexander breathed out in a rush of words, silently praising himself for how smooth they sounded despite his wild thoughts. He was impressed that the social skills he worked so hard on had come to his aid when he really needed them, helping to form an excuse for the physical contact so quickly.

Cadence was silent for what seemed like an eternal second as he attempted to form a response from his sleep-hazy thoughts, dust dancing in and out of view between the gentle beams of light that found their destination on each mattress.

A yawn escaped his lips as he regarded Alexander with gentle eyes.

“Oh… good morning. That makes sense, do you want some breakfast?” Came the shaky reply, and Alexander couldn’t tell whether it was because Cadence was as nervous as he was, or if it was simply because of the brunet having just woken up.

“Honestly, that would be really nice. Just a bowl of cereal will do.” He responded with a chuckle, finally turning back towards Cadence and meeting those shining green eyes with his own, now feeling more confident in himself.

A feeling of warmth resonated through Alexander then as he felt Storm brush up against his arm, Cadence’s eyes locked with his own as his messy brown hair curled around his cheek.

“Okay… would you mind helping me clean up here first?” Cadence questioned with a cheeky smile, his hair flying in all sorts of directions as he attempted to brush it with his hand.

All Alexander could do was smile, and dwell in the pure feeling of warmth and comfort that resounded through his body as he watched his friend.

 _That’s right, my friend._ Alexander thought to himself, his skin goosepimpling at the thought. As he watched Cadence wander up the stairs with his mattress, boxers sagging on his hips, Alexander felt a surge of emotion. Storm did little to calm his nerves as the kitten placed itself in his lap, and by the time both boys had finished breakfast Alexander’s mind was a frenzy of unsaid words and repressed emotions.

The blond was known by both his family and the entire student body at Tacton for his amazing social skills and his ability to finish things with perfection, so his inability to get the thoughts ravaging through his head under control was frustrating him to no end.

 _What a great start to the day,_ he thought as they stepped onto the train together, the morning breeze sending shivers down both of their spines as it connected with the warm air flowing from inside the train coach. His only solace was the gentle morning sunlight that danced across the station floor, reflecting off of the glass.

When the train began to pull away from the station, Alexander revelled in the beauty of Burling. He wholly expected to never return, as deep down he knew that the only way he would be able to maintain life as he knew it would be to cut contact with Cadence entirely. A pang of emotion rang through his chest at the realization, eyes narrowing at the understanding that he had already become so attached to Cadence.

It wasn’t Burling he was struggling to leave.

* * *

 

By the time Alexander had made it to practice, he was nearly late. The train ride had been long and exhausting, as he was so used to the fast drive from his home that sitting on the train for such a long time while watching the passing scenery had almost put him back to sleep. Cadence had unfortunately immediately fallen asleep across from Alexander when they had settled on the train, giving him no conversational outlet to keep him awake.

His mind had wandered during practice, but as always he pushed through it and led his team with a strong pace and authoritative voice as the coxswain focused on Timothy in the bow. The cool breeze did nothing to sate his heated body as he pushed his oar through the water in attempt to lose his thoughts in the process. His hair matted across his forehead as beads of sweat slid down his cheeks, the nerves in his jaw crying out in pain from the pressure he was putting on them.

As he later wandered up the soaked cement to the boat stands with his team, he hoisted the weight of the boat on his shoulder with pride. He refused to let the morning get to him.

Unfortunately, by the time they had finally reached the showers, warm water trickling down his sweat-soaked face, he realized that it was pointless to even bother. Every time he closed his eyes the image of Cadence’s parted lips and warm skin flashed in his mind, causing him to snap them open in attempt to stop his rising heartrate and growing erection.

Timothy, as always, had wandered up to him while he was putting on his clothes, slapping him on the back and nearly sending him flying into the lockers when he couldn’t regain his footing.

The smile slid off of Timothy’s face immediately, brows furrowing.

“Are you alright Alex? I don’t think you’ve ever fallen over after my slap, filled with love of course.” He finished with a chuckle, poking at Alexander’s side as he hoisted a shirt over his head.

“Of course, I just wasn’t expecting it is all. And I’ve told you hundreds of times, stop calling me _Alex_.” Alexander responded in a slightly annoyed tone of voice, frustrated that his wild thoughts were affecting his actions so much.

A silence made its way across the locker room as Alexander finished packing his things, casting a glance towards Timothy as he swept his still slightly-damp hair across his forehead in attempt to remove it from his eyes.

“It brings me too much joy to see the annoyance on your face when I do, so… I don’t think I will!” Timothy jousted while sticking out his tongue. He paused before responding, regarding Alexander with a more serious look.

“But seriously, if something is wrong, you know you can always talk to me.” He paused before continuing, “Is it something to do with that guy from lunch? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you pay attention to anyone like that except for me, because I’m so fabulous of course. Did he do something to piss you off? If he did, you know I have fists of steel.” He finished with a breath, popping his fists in the air in a mock show-off.

“Why do you say that? Who says I even know his name?” Alexander scoffed towards the black-haired boy, inspecting his nails and disregarding Timothy’s comment entirely as he threw his backpack across his shoulder, the sound echoing throughout the quiet locker room.

“Because I know everything.” Timothy finished mysteriously, winking at Alexander before sprinting off after the rest of the team as they wandered towards the schoolgrounds.

Alexander rolled his eyes, but he was a bit thrown off by his words.

 _Know everything? What does he mean by that?_ He shrugged it off as he followed the rest of the boys, not willing to let his thoughts get the best of him when they already had him so riled up.

The flowing river and towering hills peeking through the morning fog helped to soothe his raging thoughts as he had pushed through the majority of his aggravation out during practice.

 _As long as I’m not around Cadence, I don’t see why any of this should be a problem_ , Alexander pondered to himself as he revelled in the cool morning mist dancing across his cheeks, fingers loosening their deathly grip on the strap of his bag. _That’s it. I barely see him around anyways, what an easy solution,_ he considered afterwards, letting out a relieved sigh into the quiet air.

As long as he could continue his daily routine, he was sure that by the end of the day his raging emotions would be nothing more than a minor blip in the past. He refused to let his practiced life be tossed into the air so easily, and he’d be darned if he’d let that happen at all.

The corners of his lips rose as he let out a low chuckle, eyes brightening as he turned to follow the rest of his team like always.

_It’s all going to be okay._

* * *

 

By the time history had started, Alexander was ready to go home. He had barely paid attention in literature and mathematics, and at this point he was feeling like he could no longer stand up. Staring at the tattered maps on the walls and listening to the monotone voice of his professor did nothing to help his situation.

Timothy had fallen into the seat beside him with an exasperated sigh as he slid down. They had joked for a while to keep themselves awake, and Alexander found that he couldn’t even bother to tune into the sound of his professor’s voice anymore.

This changed, though, when the tap of a pen against the front desk caught the students’ attention.

The professor paused before continuing.

“Therefore, because of the academy’s forceful attempts at connecting students, we will be having an inter-class project. You will be paired with other students based off of your academic standings to assure a proper work load.” The professor droned, as Alexander made note of his balding head and round glasses. “Alexander, as both you and Nicholas are at the top of the class I have decided not to pair you two together. Thus, I am pairing you with Cadence McNeil from the afternoon lecture, is that alright?”

As soon as the words had left the professor’s mouth, Alexander straightened immediately. He paused, staring at the professor as the corner of his mouth twitched in irritation.

Silence hung in the air as the startled professor awaited his response, the sound of another student’s cough echoing between the walls.

 _What have I gotten myself into? Is the world really against me?_ He thought to himself as some students turned to look towards him at his lack of response. Their eyes burned into his skin.

“Yes, thank you. I’ll be sure to contact him immediately.” He responded in an aggravated tone, glaring daggers at the surprised professor, who looked down and continued on when Alexander’s eyes registered with his own.

This brought only a small amount of satisfaction for Alexander’s radiating annoyance.

Timothy stared at him, dumbfounded.

“It will be easier if I work with him because we know each other.” He muttered under his breath towards the black-haired boy, understanding entirely that he could have easily denied the offer. He refused to meet eyes with Timothy, for fear of the emotion pouring out of them.

“I thought you said you didn’t even know his name?” Timothy said with a raised eyebrow, staring at Alexander sceptically.

“Fine. You got me there, but that’s all you’ll get out from me.” Alexander said in a frustrated tone, annoyed at himself for giving a detail like that away. He reached a hand up to brush away some strands of hair that had fallen across his cheek, sending a mysterious stare Timothy’s way before he let out a short chuckle, unable to keep the look for long.

Timothy just stared at him blatantly before throwing his arms up into the air and letting out an exasperated sigh.

“You make absolutely no sense whatsoever, Alexander. I swear I’ll find out what you’re up to.” He responded with a chuckle, a tone of mock seriousness hitting his words at the end.

As much as Alexander wanted to swat Timothy over the head with his notebook, he knew that the best way to approach this situation was to be calm and collected, as always.

 _Don’t let on that you’re bothered, or he’ll only be more confident in himself,_ he thought afterwards.

“You do whatever you want, you’re so bored now that you’re looking into places where there is nothing to see.” He responded snidely, rolling his eyes towards Timothy for emphasis.

Just as he finished, the sound of the school bell resounded throughout the quiet building, and both boys immediately jumped up and headed towards the door. For a Thursday afternoon, it seemed like everyone was ready to go back to sleep. As always, lunch was a saving grace.

Timothy’s blank expression was easily replaced by his normal bright smile, teeth flashing as he pushed Alexander to the side in his trek towards the door, the blond laughing as he followed along after him.

The blond let out a relieved sigh as they sat down simultaneously in the grove, students grouping around them as usual without saying a word. _See? He’s nowhere in sight. You have nothing to worry about_ , Alexander thought to himself as he straightened his spine, entertaining Timothy’s story about animal-shaped eggs that Emily had made for him the day prior with a raised eyebrow.

“I swear, Alex, you’ve got to try these things. They taste so much better when they’re shaped like little elephants or rabbits.” Timothy rambled on, using hand gestures in attempt to show Alexander what exactly he was talking about.

“Seriously, are you five? Eggs are eggs, regardless of what shape they’re in.” The blond responded snidely, holding back a laugh as he watched Timothy’s abashed expression. He looked as if Alexander had just said that Christmas was cancelled.

“How could you say that? You must be a robot. How can you _not_ be amazed by shaped eggs?” He questioned loudly as if Alexander was unable to understand what he was saying. “Like, come on, how did she even do that?! She’s so talented, I swear!” He continued after, a look of admiration falling across his cheeks as he thought about his girlfriend.

Alexander shook his head, lifting up a hand and running it through his windblown hair. Timothy was one of the strangest people he had ever met, but he figured that was why they got along so well.

The warm breeze that blew across the grove calmed Alexander as he listened to his friend ramble, and he somehow felt comforted by the groups of people surrounding them, immersed in their own conversations.

* * *

 

By the end of the day, Alexander found himself in a complicated position. As he tightened his grip on the bag slung over his shoulder, Timothy rambling on beside him about a date he had gone on with Emily where they crossed off some bucket list items like making out in every bar they visited, he glanced apprehensively towards the station as the two of them approached.

He outright ignored the crowd of students casting excited glances his way, as well as the giggles that called for his attention from the group of Actis students that seemed to always find themselves at the station when Alexander would arrive.

The afternoon sun sent shivers across his back as he watched it dance along the metal of the train, his mind frantic as he thought about what he needed to do. He wasted no time as he trekked towards the old train coach, determination filling his thoughts as he waved a short goodbye to his friend.

He wanted the project done, and he wanted it done quick. Despite his heart calling to be around Cadence he knew for certain that the only way to subdue his rising emotions would be to cut their contact as much as possible, which had been easily doable until the school decided to _curse him_.

His eyes narrowed at the thought.

Sliding into the open doors, he slammed his bag down on the table to get Cadence’s attention, ignoring the realization that Cadence seemed unsurprised to see him on the old coach once more.

“I’m coming over again tonight.” Alexander stated confidently, blue eyes radiating as he felt as confident and domineering as he normally should, staring down at the brunet in front of him.

Cadence simply stared up at him, dumbfounded. The tattered book that he held within his hands was set against the table gently as he brushed his nose.

“O-Okay…” He responded quietly, staring up at Alexander, green eyes ablaze as they connected with his own.

“Your professor told you, right? I like to get things finished as quickly and efficiently as possible, so I figured we should start on our project tonight.” He said with one eyebrow raised. He wouldn’t tell Cadence that he wanted to get it done quickly as to spend as little time with the brunet as possible. 

“Oh… Okay that makes sense. I thought we would work on it during school time but now that you mention it, it seems like a better idea to meet afterwards as well.” Cadence responded with a smile, gesturing for Alexander to sit. The blond hesitated for only a moment as he analysed the brunet in front of him in attempt to understand his thought process before sliding gracefully into the seat across from him.

When he did, an awkward silence filled the coach, and Alexander didn’t notice Timothy’s intent eyes staring holes in his skull from across the platform.

“Are your parents alright with this?” Cadence questioned as the train began to pull away from the station, glancing over Alexander’s bag where it lay resting on the table.

“I’m sure they will be, I’ll just tell them that I’ve been with a girl.” Alexander responded flatly, trying not to focus on the barrage of questions he knew he would get from his family when he finally returned that evening.

The tartan seats stood out against his pale skin as both boys sat in silence, misty grey sky not helping the mood in the least.

“Are you often with a girl?” The brunet asked softly, hands dropping below the table as he glanced at Alexander with an expecting gaze, book now entirely forgotten.

The air around them filled with silence once more as he took a moment to respond.

This question had caught Alexander off-guard, and he fought for a response. If he said yes, then Cadence would definitely not have any further suspicion about the feelings he harboured towards him, but on the other hand, as much as Alexander knew he needed to, he didn’t want to push Cadence away.

“Sometimes, but it’s mostly just to keep my family happy.” He responded, happy with the way he had worded his remark.

“Oh, I see.” Came the mumbled reply, as Cadence looked down at his palms.

The sound of the train filled the coach then, as both boys fell silent. The rolling hills passed by outside, but neither of them payed any attention to the thick fog that had maintained its place throughout the day.

Alexander swore he could feel the tension rebounding between them as the train continued on, and he couldn’t help himself from responding.

“I’m not interested in any of them, though.” Came his messy reply, wringing his hands in his lap as he gazed intently towards the brunet, his hair a mess as strands curled across his cheeks. He immediately regretted the response _._

 _If I had told him I have a girlfriend that would have been the end of it, what is wrong with you_? He lessoned himself silently as his eyes narrowed.

“Who are you interested in, then?” Cadence asked before clearing his throat, looking down determinedly as he realized the boldness of his question.

Alexander stared at Cadence for a long time before responding, eyes following the line of Cadence’s jaw before glancing down towards the Adam’s apple that bobbed as the brunet swallowed. He should have expected the question- he had basically invited Cadence to question it in the first place, but he still found himself at a loss for words as he felt his cheeks flushing.

His blue eyes were surprisingly calm as they stared into Cadence’s own when he looked up for a response, and as Alexander studied the eyelashes framing his friend’s soft face, he chuckled at the absolute irony of the situation.

“That’s not something that you get to know.” He said after a while, smiling as he watched Cadence’s cheeks redden with embarrassment.

“I always see you with a book,” Alexander commented offhandedly a few minutes later, hand falling from where it rested against his cheek as he turned to look at the brunet before adding, “do you read a lot? I don’t remember seeing many books in your room.” He finished, gesturing towards the old book resting against the table in front of them.

Cadence smiled at the question, a light blazing in his eyes as he prepared his response.

“Well, because I don’t really spend time with anyone outside of school, I have always loved books. My mother has so many of them scattered around her room on shelves and such and I always seem to find myself picking something out.” He responded contentedly, brushing his nose as he looked down at the book in front of them.

“This one in particular is a non-fiction book about cartography. Since my mother is a cartographer she has a lot of books relating to the process and I’ve recently been really interested in it. I think it would be easiest for me to follow in her footsteps but I know she has a lot of reservations about it.” Cadence continued on after, head turning to the side to break the eye contact they shared after he realized he was rambling.

“Your parents are cartographers? That sounds like a very interesting career. Why would your mother be having reservations about you following in her path?” Alexander responded with genuine interest, tapping his fingers against the able as he pondered Cadence’s words.

“She wants me to get out of Burling, to experience life somewhere else.” Came the muttered response, and Alexander realized he may have broached a sensitive topic as he watched Cadence’s eyes narrow in thought.

“I think you should follow whatever you want to do, if you have the freedom to do it. If that means going into cartography, then I believe your mother would understand.” Alexander responded with calculated words, reaching a hand up to brush his hair back as he spoke.

“That’s just the thing, though. I’ve never even thought about what I want to do. Attending Tacton is the only thing that has happened to broaden my worldview and I have yet to find something I find interesting enough to pursue.” The brunet responded quietly, a short sigh escaping his lips as he finished.

Alexander took a moment to respond, considering his words.

“Do you have any hobbies?” He questioned lightly.

At this, Cadence seemed to light up just as he had done at the mention of books, and Alexander knew that he must be doing something right.

“I like to write.” Came the short response, this time with enthusiasm rather than dejection.

Alexander smirked at the immediate change in tone, watching his friend intently.

“Well, have you ever considered writing a novel? Not only that, but you could look into broader spectrums of writing such as journalism and the like.” He responded smoothly, leaning back into the seat as Cadence met his eyes.

“No, I… I actually haven’t.” Cadence responded incredulously, eyebrows furrowing as he brushed his nose again.

Alexander couldn’t help but laugh, a chuckle escaping his lips as he watched Cadence’s bewildered expression.

“Hey, don’t be like that. It’s not like I have everything easily planned out for me. I’m not like you.” Cadence shot back, eyes narrowing before widening comically as Alexander figured he realized the rudeness of his tone. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” The brunet added after, reaching a hand across the table to reassure Alexander, but the blond retreated from his touch, crossing his arms as his eyes narrowed immediately.

“What else were you supposed to mean by it?” He responded loudly, a corner of his lip raising in a sneer that sent Cadence back into the fabric of his own seat.

It was amazing how easily the brunet could aggravate him with just a few words. A long sigh escaped his lips as the grip on his arms lessened when Alexander realized that Cadence was no longer just some stranger. They had shared what Alexander would consider intimate experiences and he wasn’t prepared to get into a heated argument once more.

“I’m sorry for getting frustrated. I’m really not used to someone being genuine with me; rather, I am far more used to strangers speaking as if they know me without ever having spoken to me before, and when I hear comments like that it immediately reminds me of their ignorance.” He breathed out, tapping a finger against his arm as he watched Cadence’s posture relax some at the reassurance. “You, Cadence, are not ignorant.” He continued afterwards, staring pointedly at his friend.

A silence passed before Alexander responded.

“Having everything planned out for you is not always the great thing that some people make it out to be. Sometimes what is planned for you is the exact opposite of what you long for.” He finished quietly, looking away as a softness reached Cadence’s gaze, and at that very moment the train began to slow as they reached Burling.

Stepping off of the coach greeted Alexander with heavy, humid air, and he sighed dejectedly as he realized just how much he loved the atmosphere of Burling. His home in the countryside was beautiful, sure, but the ocean winds and varying landscapes in Burling meant his home really couldn’t compare.

Alexander marvelled at the sun that was casting hues of orange and pink across the bright green landscape due to the low-lying clouds that meandered across the horizon, the colours reflecting off of the active ocean as they passed through the glass-covered station.

Neither of them spoke until they reached Cadence’s house, Storm immediately grabbing hold of Alexander’s pant leg when Cadence opened the door. Both boys stopped in their place, staring down at the ball of grey fur before bursting out in loud laughter together.

“Why is it,” Cadence attempted between breaths as he chuckled, “that my cat likes you more than me?”

“How can he not? What is there to not like about me?” Alexander commented with pride, lifting Storm up and carrying him inside.

Cadence snorted, glancing at Alexander as they meandered their way across the living room.

“I can list a few things.” He answered jokingly, and Alexander faked mock hurt as he rested the back of a palm against his forehead.

“How could you say that? I thought we were friends.” Alexander commented towards the brunet, just as Cadence’s mother stepped into the living room, stopping in her tracks as she caught sight of the blond.

“Hello again, Alexander! So good to see you once more.” She said brightly, sticking the pen she was holding in the bun that curled around the back of her head as she glanced towards Cadence warmly. “Would you like me to make dinner for the three of us?” She questioned towards him, smiling when Cadence nodded with embarrassment.

“We’re paired together for a history assignment, and both Alexander and I thought that it would be best for us to start on it as soon as possible.” Cadence explained as he followed his mother into the kitchen, gesturing for Alexander to meet him upstairs.

The blond complied, setting Storm down on the living room floor as he made his way up the stairs to Cadence’s room, and before he realized where exactly he was going, he was struck immediately by the clean scent of Cadence’s room, reminding him of the earlier morning when he woke up in clothes that weren’t his own.

He stood still at the door, cheeks flushing as he tried to force the thoughts from his mind. He found himself frustrated at the realization that the only time his mind had been calm the entire day had been when he was engaged in conversation with the one person who was causing all of the problems in the first place.

A sigh escaped his lips as he dropped his bag on the floor, sitting in Cadence’s desk chair as he gazed around the room. Tattered flags and maps lined the walls and ceiling of Cadence’s room, warm ocean breeze cascading its way through the softly blowing curtains lit with warm colours as the sun set outside.

Cadence’s room was vastly different than his own, and this was the first time he was able to appreciate it properly. It had a homey feeling that his room could never have with its solid edges and stoic atmosphere.

Alexander found himself feeling solemn at the thought, before he was torn from his thoughts at the sound of Cadence entering the room.

“Sorry about that. So, should we begin?” He questioned lightly, licking his lips as if he was trying to calm himself down.

It took all of Alexander’s reserve to not ask what Cadence had been discussing with his mother and just _why_ it had taken so long, but as a sigh escaped his lips he knew that the business wasn’t his own.

* * *

 

By the time they had completed their project, plates were piled on Cadence’s desk with finished food from dinner, and the warm light from Cadence’s lamp provided a gentle atmosphere as both boys worked.

Alexander was sitting with his back against Cadence’s bed, reading over what the brunet had written as Cadence himself sat cross-legged in front of him, writing down a sheet of his own.

Alexander had been pleasantly surprised with how well they had worked together. The words flowed freely from his mouth and Cadence captured them perfectly within his writing, and he found himself appreciating his friend’s talent.

They had had no trouble deciding on what to include and what to toss, ideas bouncing off of each other fluidly. They had finished in only a couple hours because of the easy progression, and as Alexander gazed towards Cadence with his unruly hair and concentrated face, he found himself yet again with an explosion of warmth within his chest.

Cadence’s bottom lip was tucked between his teeth as he worked on the sheet, curls of hair framing his cheeks as they fell when he angled his head. The brunet’s eyes were so full of concentration that it made Alexander smirk silently to himself, reminding him of the days he worked so hard with his tutors.

Things seemed to come so easily for Cadence, and Alexander found himself admiring it.

“Considering we have finished unbelievably early, I’m going to try to catch the last train tonight to sate my mother’s undeniable curiosity at why I haven’t been home in so long.” He broke the silence with his words, noting the brief disappointment that crossed Cadence’s soft features before he responded.

“That makes sense. I’m sorry to have kept you here for so long.” He responded quietly, running a hand through his hair as he apologized.

“Why are you apologizing for something that had nothing to do with you? Secondly, it was my choice to come out to visit Burling yesterday anyways, if I recall.” Alexander responded with a chuckle, smiling at the gentle flush that crossed Cadence’s features at his words.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Let me go freshen up and then I will walk you to the station. The walk is really nice at night, but you never know who you will run into so I think it would be best if I went with you.” Cadence muttered as he stared at the ground, running a finger along the floorboards.

Alexander was about to respond, telling Cadence that he could handle himself, before he sighed quietly, giving into his want to spend more time with the brunet.

 _A walk to the station won’t hurt me,_ Alexander thought to himself in attempt to calm his once again raging nerves.

“Alright.” He responded tersely as Cadence stood up with a smile.

* * *

 

Alexander thought that he would be prepared for anything. After so many years of careful effort and practice, there was very little that could surprise the blond. The calmness and poise that he exerted came so naturally that he very rarely had to try, except for when it came to Cadence.

Except for when it came to Cadence, who meandered his way into the room in only a pair of boxer shorts, hair sending droplets of water cascading across his chest as he tossed a wet towel off to the side.

Alexander thought that he would be prepared for anything, but he was not prepared for this.

A lump formed in his throat as he gazed up at Cadence from his spot against the bed, pencil nearly falling out of his hand as he watched a droplet slide down the back of his friend’s neck, across his surprisingly toned shoulders and down to the dip of his back.

 _You’re fine, it’s okay_ , he thought to himself as he tried to pry his pointed eyes away, failing miserably, and as Cadence bent over to retrieve a shirt and pants from his dresser Alexander almost snapped the pencil right in half.

And immediately, as if a glass had fallen and shattered into a thousand pieces, Alexander was brought out of his trance when Cadence stepped back and stubbed his toe on the edge of his dresser, a quiet “fuck” resounding throughout the room as he reached down to cradle the throbbing limb, and all that Alexander could do was laugh.

He laughed so loud he heard it echo down the hallway, a hand on his stomach to stop the pain that was blossoming in his abdomen from the force of it.

No, he truly was not okay.

“Don’t laugh at me!” Came the embarrassed cry from Cadence as he leant against the desk, foot in hand as he stared at the blond with furrowed brows, clearly still in pain.

And Alexander laughed harder.

* * *

 

By the time he had bid farewell to Cadence’s mother, prying the mewing cat off of his legs as they made their way through the door, Alexander found himself in a complicated position.

The moonlight sent silver dancing across their skin as he looked over at Cadence while they walked, his hair still damp.

Half of him felt that _stupid_ warmth that kept blossoming in his chest whenever he spent these silent moments with Cadence, and the other half of him felt dejected and solemn as he considered the fact that he was so deeply head-over-heels for his friend that there was no way he could possibly turn back.

The past four days had provided him with a happiness that he found he had rarely felt, only every now and then when he would spend time with Timothy and Emily, but with Cadence, he felt it in almost every moment.

* * *

 

As Alexander opened the door to his home, immediately he found himself enveloped in a hug from Lizzy, who seemed like she was just told Christmas would last all year when she saw her brother’s face emerging from the doorway.

A wheeze escaped him as he stared down at his sister, feeling happiness resound through his body as he hugged her back.

“Hello, Lizzy, how are you?” He questioned warmly, kneeling down to speak to her after she released him from her grip.

He noticed absently the wildflowers that were placed half-heartedly around her head, likely picked from the garden earlier that day.

“Good.” She responded happily, opening her mouth to continue before she was abruptly cut off by a stern voice radiating from across the hallway.

“Where have you been?” questioned his mother in a muted tone, her arms crossed gently in front of her in what only Alexander would recognize as frustration.

The blond sighed quietly as he stood up once more, fingers tightening their grip on his bag as he made eye contact with his mother.

“I’m sorry that I’ve been gone so long. I was with a girl.” He responded shortly, not willing to go into greater, imagined detail.

“The same girl that Elizabeth was telling us about a couple of days ago?” His mother responded agitatedly, though as her hands came to rest at her sides Alexander knew that he had satisfied her enough. “What is her name?” came the continued question, and Alexander found himself at a loss for words.

He knew that she would recognize the short second of hesitation, and Alexander reprimanded himself mentally for not considering the question before.

“Her name is Cadienna.” He responded flatly, internally rolling his eyes at the terrible name that he managed to come up with.

“Cadienna,” his mother responded quietly, testing out the name on her tongue before turning around quietly, gesturing for Alexander to enter the house. “Consider bringing her over for dinner sometime, it would be nice to meet the woman that my son has spent more than one night with.” She continued calmly before disappearing around the corner.

The happiness that had resounded through Alexander on the train ride home immediately left his body, replaced with anger towards his mother for the snide remark.

He didn’t bother speaking with his parents for the rest of the night, spending it in silence as he prepared himself for bed.

* * *

 

Blue eyes gazed towards the towering ceiling above him, the moonlight reflecting hues of silver from the towering windows beside him. As Alexander sighed into the quiet air from beneath the warmth of his bedcovers, he was hit with a barrage of emotions and memories from the past two days.

The colours of Burling, hues of orange and pink as they danced across bright green fields and brown mountains.

A warm ocean breeze making its way through a worn home.

Soft breathing and cherry red lips, the smell of Cadence’s clothing as it rested warm against his body.

The feeling of heated skin underneath his own, breath dancing across his fevered fingertips.

A droplet of water as it slid down toned skin.

As a shaky breath left his swollen lips, Alexander allowed himself for one moment, only _one moment_ , as he slid a hand below the covers, face flushed as his fingers met with heated flesh, to let himself feel _this_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's back... back again.. yeah she's back.. please don't hate me!  
> This story WILL continue! I was not on hiatus, but rather I came to understand how difficult it is to keep up writing regularly.  
> Look forward to future chapters for those who will continue to read after this point!  
> Thanks, as always, to my wonderful beta Sarah!


	5. Frustrations

Gentle rays of sunlight danced their way into the room, finding solitude reflecting off of the floorboards as the sea breeze blew Cadence's curtains this way and that. Green eyes cracked open slowly, a sigh escaping parted lips as he slowly began to register the world around him.

Dust tickled his nose, and he scrunched it slightly to avoid sneezing as the cool breeze cascaded across his bare leg that was draped across the edge of the bed, toes dangling dangerously close to the cold floorboards.

With a loud sigh, the brunet threw the covers way from his body, forcing his sensitive skin to adjust to the cool morning air. He could feel his arm hair standing on end as he planted his feet on the ground, allowing the cool temperature to wake up his tired limbs as he tried to keep his eyes from closing.

The wafting scent of freshly cooked food reached his nose, and Cadence's eyes snapped open immediately as he licked his lips.

Bacon.

His mother was making bacon and eggs for breakfast.

With renewed energy he threw on his clothes half-heartedly, running a hand through his hair on the way down the stairs in attempt to tame it. It had somehow dried even curlier than normal due to the fact he had been outside in the humid evening air while walking Alexander to the station the previous evening.

A warm smile crossed his lips as he thought of the blond and how efficiently they had worked together the previous night.

He pondered this as he sat down at the kitchen table, the worn wood cool against his body as he lifted a mewing Storm off of the ground and into his lap, chuckling as the kitten immediately curled into a ball.

He had never worked with anyone for a school project in his life, until the previous night, and despite his outward confidence he had been reeling with nerves the entire train ride home with the fear that he would mess everything up, or even worse, not be able to keep up with Alexander's knowledge. To his pleasant surprise, it ended up being quite the opposite.

With Cadence's skill in writing combined with the blond's communication skills, the two of them had worked like a well-oiled machine, completing their work in an almost unbelievable amount of time.

He was sucked out of his thoughts by the sound of clanging plates as his mother prepared their breakfast, sitting across from Cadence and flashing her son a warm smile before beginning to eat.

He used to worry that he wasn't putting in as much effort at home as his mother would like him to, until he had brought it up to her one day during his first year at Tacton. She had expressed to him that cooking for him was one of the few ways she felt like she could still be a mother to him as he was growing so fast, and that as long as he managed to complete the small household chores that she was unable to finish before leaving for work, he was doing his part.

"So," the calm silence was broken as his mother glanced up from her meal, fork in hand as she continued, "have you thought about what we talked about last night?"

Cadence let out a sigh as he glanced down, remembering the conversation.

His mother had confronted him when the two boys had arrived home the evening prior, asking Cadence to be aware of the opportunity that came from his friendship with Alexander.

" _I know you don't have… very many friends,"_ the words echoed in his head, " _I think your new friendship with Alexander is very healthy, but I think that this would be a good opportunity for you to make some more friends."_

He understood his mother's words, and while he knew that she had been coming from a place of love and concern, they still struck a chord within him that sent a blossom of hurt erupting inside his heart.

"I know where you are coming from, but Alexander is the first person who has showed genuine interest in being friends with me." He responded quietly, moving a piece of scrambled egg back and forth with his fork.

"Do you think that is because he is the only person on the planet who finds you interesting, or that it might also be because you don't put yourself out there to be noticed?" His mother commented in a sympathetic tone, reaching a hand out and pressing it against Cadence's wrist.

As he looked up to meet his mother's eyes, he knew that she was right. It was never entirely chance that he was so isolated, and deep down he knew that a large part of it was due to his inability to start conversations with people.

"I have seen you grow more in just this week than I have in all the years you have been attending Tacton. I don't know if that is because of your new friendship with Alexander, or if it is because of a change within you, but I think that this could be a good opportunity to take advantage of." She finished with a smile, retracting her hand as she watched her son.

"I understand. I'll try to talk to some new people by the end of this week, alright?" He replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head as he smiled towards his mother. She nodded silently in response, before picking up her plate and walking into the kitchen to wash it off.

Cadence sighed to himself, looking down at the small kitten curled up in his lap.

_Who needs friends, anyway?_ He thought to himself as he narrowed his eyes the slightest bit, Storm's fur raising and lowering with each breath.

_I do… I really do_.

* * *

The day started off as normal as ever, but it was halfway through the lunch period that Cadence noticed something was off.

He had gone out to the greens to read as he usually did, sliding down the softened trunk of the only willow tree that was maintained in the area. He'd been reading the same book about cartography that he had been plowing through for the majority of the week, but the sound of subdued whispers disturbed him as they made their way across the open field.

As Cadence glanced up, scanning the area to see what was going on, he noticed a significant group of students looking around as well- and it wasn't long before he realized what they were looking for.

Alexander.

The blond was nowhere to be seen in the vicinity, which for him, unlike people such as Cadence himself who did not hold such a strong influence, was extremely uncommon.

The thought plagued him as he continued through the rest of the day, and it wasn't until he sat on the waiting train in South Campus, fingers tapping idly on the splintered table in front of him as his eyes scanned the platform for a familiar blond head, that Cadence started to wonder if something was wrong.

He could see the regular group of Actis students glancing around with frustrated stares, sneering at those who walked through their gazes.

The black-haired boy that he regularly saw Alexander with was also nowhere to be found, and this realization sparked worry within Cadence.

Had Nottingham's practice run late?

_No, that can't be right, he practices in the morning_. Cadence thought to himself with a frown, brushing his nose as the train began to pull away from the station. The worry didn't settle.

The train ride home was one of the most silent ones he had experienced since his first year at Tacton when he had started taking the old coach in the first place. He hadn't realized how used to Alexander's presence he had gotten until silence resounded around him, filled only by the sound of the metal train tracks beneath him.

He glanced towards the tartan seats, bland and fraying at the edges, down towards the splintered table that sat in front of him.

He felt alone.

* * *

By the time Cadence had entered his house, picking up Storm and placing him gently on his shoulder as he meandered his way inside, his mother had already figured out that something was off.

He smiled as he saw her standing idly by the staircase, eyes narrowed the slightest bit as she watched her son.

"What's wrong?"

"Alexander was suspiciously absent from the public today." Cadence responded with a raise of his eyebrow, wandering over to the kitchen table and sitting down when he noticed his mother following.

"That's odd, do you think that he came down with a cold?" She answered, tying her hair up in a messy bun as she did so.

"I don't think so, he seemed fine last night," the brunet answered before continuing, "and no, I didn't speak to anyone new today."

A warm laugh echoed throughout the room as his mother smiled gently towards him, the evening light casting oranges and gold onto the creaky floorboards.

"That's alright, honey. Tomorrow is a new day. Now, could you tidy the rooms upstairs for me while I prepare some dinner?" She finished contentedly, standing up and making her way into the kitchen as the all-familiar tune emanated from her humming lips.

* * *

When Cadence awoke the next morning, he found himself feeling dejected alongside with something else that he couldn't really describe.

He was annoyed with the early morning light that usually relaxed him, shielding his eyes as he made his way across the room. He'd slept terribly the night before, unable to stop the worry from keeping him awake.

It's not like someone being absent from school was an unusual situation, it was simply that he had gotten so used to Alexander's company that not having the familiarity there made him feel… uncomfortable.

He'd barely spoken to his mother before he'd left for school. He was sure she would comment on it when he got home at the end of the day, but he couldn't bring himself to talk about just what exactly he was feeling.

It'd been so long since he had felt such warmth and comfort in somebody else's presence, excluding his own family, and this thought brought Cadence's eyes up from the book cradled in his hands as the train echoed onwards beneath him. Grey clouds covered the sky above him, moving in over the horizon line and taking the morning sunlight with them.

Cadence lost himself as the scenery passed on outside.

_I hadn't realized how happy it made me having someone around_ … He pondered idly, the thought hitting him like a bludgeon to the stomach.

He'd never minded being an isolated person, at least, not until now. The blond had thrown his life upside down in less than a week, and here he was losing his mind over a day of missed school.

Cadence's eyes narrowed at the thought, his fingers tapping against the closed book in front of him as he watched the clouds continue on.

* * *

When the bell rang for lunch the brunet made his way towards the greens, glancing up towards the sky. His eyes met with low, grey clouds that made the field in front of him seem smaller than usual.

The wind blew past him as he settled down in front of the willow tree, it's leaves swaying back and forth above his head. With the green dancing in and out of his vision, he watched the groups of students meandering their way across the greens with rumbling stomachs and smiles on their faces.

He pulled out a thermos full of tea, a small smile etching onto his face when he realized it was still warm from when he had left the house that morning.

"Hey, Cadence!" Came a bright voice from his left, startling the brunet out of his thoughts so suddenly that he almost dropped the mug in his hands, spilling some of the tea across his fingers.

As Cadence turned around he was met with the beaming smile of Nottingham's black-haired friend, and it was at this moment that the brunet realized he didn't know his name. They stared at each other for what seemed like eternity, Cadence's confused green eyes boring into hazel.

_Why is he here? Why is he speaking to me_? Cadence questioned to himself, the edge of worry forcing its way back into his brain as he wondered if something really had happened to Alexander.

_If something did, he wouldn't be smiling so bright_ , he thought afterwards, gesturing idly for the black-haired boy to sit with him as he responded.

"Uhm… Hello," Cadence muttered in a nervous tone, brows furrowing as the boy literally flopped down in front of him. "Who are you? How do you know my name?" He questioned after before berating himself, frustrated with his response as it sounded more like an interrogation than a friendly greeting to someone he had never met before.

_Good start, Cadence. Finally someone else speaks to you and the first thing you do is act hostile_ , he thought to himself with a snort. The smile never wavered from the boy's face, though, but rather seemed to brighten when he received a response. He sure was an oddball.

"Oh, Alex has told me allll about you!" Came the bright reply, with an added eye-roll for emphasis as the boy laughed before continuing, "My name is Timothy, it's nice to meet you!"

An arm was extended towards him, and Cadence stared at it dumbly before shaking himself into action and responding in kind. Timothy's hands were warm, and the shake was much friendlier than the one he and Alexander had shared when they first met.

"Do you mean Alexander? What do you mean?" The brunet responded quietly, a single brow raising as Timothy started unpacking his lunch. "And, uh, it's nice to meet you too." He added after, regretting not saying it beforehand.

"Yes! Sorry, sometimes I forget that everyone else calls him that. I'm so used to saying Alex just to piss him off. He talks about you all the time, he's very fond of you, you know!" Timothy replied happily, winking towards Cadence as he engulfed his sandwich in almost two bites.

Cadence could feel his cheeks blossoming red when he heard this. _He talks about me_?

"Really? What has he said?" He questioned, setting the steaming mug down in front of him as he looked towards Timothy with interest.

A gust of wind blew between them as Timothy prepared to respond, sending Cadence's hair this way and that.

"That's not important, what IS important, though, is what _you_ think of _him_." Timothy smiled as he said this, licking his fingers before continuing. "How did you two meet? Are you friends?"

The question caught Cadence off-guard, and he found himself unsure of how to respond. _Why in the world is he asking these questions_? He thought to himself as he felt his cheeks redden further, licking his lips.

"Uhm, well I've known about him since I started school at Tacton, obviously," the brunet replied with a short chuckle at Timothy's understanding look, "We started speaking on Monday when we both ended up on the same coach. I… I think we're friends?" He finished awkwardly, brushing his nose at the confused look on Timothy's face as those hazel eyes bore into his own, clearly looking for more information.

"He's been over to my house a couple of times this week… but that's really it." Cadence finished offhandedly, leaning backwards unconsciously as he found himself under Timothy's aggressive stare.

"He's been over to your house?!" Timothy responded with a small shout, his hands raising in the air as he did so. "He's never been to mine! Come to think of it, why hasn't he been to mine?" He finished with a questioning gaze, as if he had never noticed the predicament before.

Cadence responded with a genuine laugh, fingering the edge of the mug that sat in front of him as he watched Timothy go through this ordeal. He was just beginning to find comfort in the other boy's presence before a booming voice echoed in the air near them.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?" Came the seething question, and both boys looked up to see Alexander himself standing a few feet away from them. Cadence startled, steel blue eyes meeting his own confused green ones before they closed in on Timothy beside him. The silent rage that emanated from Alexander was so thick that Cadence could feel it from where he was sitting, and he could tell that it was taking a lot out of the blond boy to keep his cool.

Alexander snarled at Timothy, eyebrows pulled together in irritation as his fists clenched beside him. A handful of students that were sitting near them had turned their heads at the commotion, silence filling the area as the wind picked up.

"Why the bloody hell are _you_ talking to _him_?" Alexander seethed, pointing a single immaculate finger towards Cadence, singling him out amongst the chaos. The brunet's jaw opened slightly, full of confusion and fear as he stared up at the angry Alexander that towered above him. Some of the students followed Alexander's finger, eyes landing on Cadence and making him all the more uncomfortable under their scrutinizing gazes.

Alexander's shaggy hair was messy with the breeze, only adding to his frustrated demeanour as strands blew across his cheekbones.

Silence rung out around them, Cadence looking between the two boys as Alexander's eyes tore holes into the frightened Timothy that sat before him.

"W-What…" Timothy started, before immediately being interrupted by Alexander's sneer and forceful command.

"Come with me." He demanded before continuing at the lack of response, "Did you not hear me? I won't speak twice."

Timothy stared up at Alexander, and Cadence could see the confusion and frustration on his face as he slowly stood up, shoving his half-finished lunch into his bag. One last, sympathetic look was thrown behind his shoulder towards the frightened brunet before both Timothy and Alexander walked across the greens and into a nearby building. Alexander radiated anger, shoulders taught with irritation that was easily recognizable but well controlled. Timothy, on the other hand, looked like he had been told Christmas was cancelled and that Father Christmas was actually a monster.

Cadence breathed out, glancing out across the greens and meeting dozens of eyes along the way. He could feel his face flushing again, not used to all of the attention. Silence rung out through the courtyard before students slowly began to involve themselves in their own conversations, hushed whispers and mumbles echoing with the wind.

He slumped forwards, turning his gaze to the steaming mug of tea that sat in front of him.

_What the hell just happened?_

He had never seen another human being so angry before, let alone Alexander Nottingham himself. It unnerved him to be on the receiving end- had he done something wrong? Alexander had seemed fine when they were working on their project. Why was it such a big deal that Timothy was speaking to him?

Cadence could feel the cold temperature seeping into his skin as he stared into the tea as if it were the thing causing all of his problems.

With the next gust of wind Cadence stood up, shoving the rest of his lunch into his bag and quietly escaping the greens. He could feel a handful of eyes following him, as if they were digging holes into his back. The cold wood of the door felt good in his hands, and when he managed to close it behind him and cut the agnonizing stares off, he immediately slid down the stone wall beside, wincing as he felt the bumps digging into his back as he did so.

The hallway was quiet, empty.

He pulled his knees towards his chest and stayed there, staring silently at the wall in front of him until the bell rang signalling that lunch had ended.

* * *

When Cadence curled his hand around the doorknob of his house, opening it to walk in, he was immediately surrounded by the smell of old books and a mess of strawberry-blonde hair as his mother threw herself onto him, arms wrapped so tight that he could hardly breathe.

Storm trotted onto the threshold, walking around them and meowing in distress as the wind picked up around them, the twilight light warm but cut off by the offending overcast.

"Where have you been? I was so worried." Cadence heard his mother comment from his back as she loosened her grip. "You've never come home late, I was worried that something had gone wrong. I figured that you may have been with Alexander but you have never come home this late." Hands were placed upon his cheeks as his mother's stormy eyes met his own, worry creasing her face before it softened as she looked at him longer.

"I'm- I'm sorry. I'm alright, I promise I'm alright. I'm so sorry." He responded apologetically, smiling towards his mother as they made their way inside, wind boring into the living room before being cut off abruptly as the door shut.

"Where have you been?" His mother questioned exasperatedly, flopping down onto the couch as she stared up at her son, Storm climbing into her lap and curling up. She seemed to calm down as she glanced towards the small kitten, a sigh making its way out of her lips as she caressed him.

"I… something happened today during lunch, and I decided to take a later train to avoid seeing Alexander." He answered solemnly, coming to sit beside his mother. He could see the white-caps of wind-blown waves crashing against the shore out of the corner of his eye.

"What happened with Alexander?" She responded with interest, concerned eyes glancing towards him as she waited for him to respond.

He took a moment, sighing to himself as he fiddled with his hands in his lap.

"I don't know. I didn't see him at all yesterday and today… Well, today during lunch… There's this boy named Timothy, Alexander's friend. He came and sat with me and started asking me all of these questions about my friendship with Alexander." He responded, taking a breath before continuing. "Alexander came up to us in the middle of our conversation, and he was pissed. More pissed than I have seen anyone, ever."

He chuckled to himself.

"Even more pissed than when I broke dad's special fountain pen when I was younger. He was livid. He asked why Timothy was speaking to me, but he asked it as if I were some… piece of _garbage_ or something." He commented quietly, brows furrowing as he recalled the situation. It was too late before he realized he was tearing up, the offending drops clouding his vision.

His mother was silent for a long time, and the sound of distant thunder echoed throughout the quiet room as she prepared a response.

"I'm sorry, Cadence. I'm sure everything will be alright, maybe he is having a tough time at home." She answered warmly, placing a hand on her son's own entwined ones. "Sometimes people say things that they don't really mean when they can't get a hold on their own emotions."

"I understand that, but Alexander is one of the most composed people I've ever seen." Cadence responded, wiping his eyes with his sleeve to stop the tears from falling onto his cheeks.

"Is he, truly? Or is that a face that he puts on for the public?" His mother replied after some time, retracting her hand and making her way to the dining room table after realizing that Cadence wasn't going to respond.

He pondered this, considering the way that he had seen Nottingham act when he first met him on the train in comparison to the gentle, kind person he had spent so much time with over the past couple days.

It struck him, comparing the two personalities with one another. One on hand, Alexander was one of the most honest, humble people he had ever met, while on the other hand, he was also the most egotistical, confident, and rude. He threw Cadence's examinations into the air entirely, which despite the disdain that came with his understanding, made Cadence all the more interested in the blond.

Blue eyes flashed across his mind as thunder echoed once again. The sound of his mother sketching calmed his thoughts as Storm meandered his way over to Cadence from where his mother had left him, craving warmth.

* * *

Cadence spent the rest of the night in his room, writing as if his life depended on it to get the raging thoughts out of his head.

The sound of light rain pelted the window of his bedroom, breaking the silence as he curled over the page in front of him. He wrote until his hands hurt- about school, about his future, about Alexander.

Nottingham had gone and thrown his world around _again_. Not just once, but twice, had the blond-haired boy tossed Cadence's emotions around as if he had no control over them at all.

In three days he had gotten so involved with Alexander that Cadence hated himself for it.

_I couldn't even hold myself back. It happened before I realized what was going on. How could I have gone and fallen for Alexander Nottingham? I must be the most masochistic person in the world_. He thought to himself as he dropped the pencil in his hands, watching it roll across the paper before getting caught on the edge of his desk.

_Why would he have treated Timothy that way? Why did he treat me that way_? He wondered, a hand snaking up to hold his chin up as he rested his elbow on the desk, the warm light from his desk lamp contrasting with the stormy weather outside.

Slowly, he could feel the cold temperature sinking into his skin, eyes widening as he began to understand.

_He's tired of me. He was never interested in being my friend in the first place._ He thought, feeling his heart drop to the floor, as if someone had carved a hole right through his chest.

_I was only a toy for him to play with until he was satisfied_.

A sharp intake of breath was the only audible sound in the room with the exception of the rain as Cadence's eyes fogged over with tears once more, this time uninhibited as they cascaded down his cheeks, falling onto the page in front of him until it was dotted with drop marks.

_I should have expected this._

* * *

By the time his mother awoke the next morning, he had already completed all of the chores that he normally left the entire day to do.

He spent the entirety of Sunday walking the town, leaving in the early hours of the morning before his mother left for work. He wandered his way across the damp coast until he could see the entirety of Burling in the distance, as small and insignificant as he felt.

Wind cascaded through his hair as he stood on a cliff edge, the sun pouring through the rainclouds that still hovered around, threatening to downpour again at any moment. He dug his toes into the sand and let the warm ways of the sun wash over him, grounding him to the moment.

It had been a long time since he had walked like this. It was something he used to do when he was younger, before he had ever heard of the academy. Before Alexander.

He would run through the open fields, feeling the wind in his hair, throwing his shoes off and leaving them behind if only for the feeling of his feet against the grass as he ran. He would come home dirty and wet, covered in mud and dust from his adventures. His mother had never worried for him, he had always been an adventurous boy despite his isolation, and Cadence figured that she knew he would always return.

When he returned home in the late evening his mother welcomed him in with open arms, smiling nostalgically at the dirt that covered him as he stepped over the threshold.

They sat together, Cadence writing while his mother worked, until the late evening when the moonlight tore through the cloudy skies, sending silver across the dining table.

* * *

On Monday morning his mother had had enough. She waited for him at the kitchen table, having already prepared breakfast, with a wary look in her eyes. She started speaking before Cadence even had the chance to sit down.

"You need to work out whatever is going on." Came the quiet demand, mumbled over the sound of pouring rain. "You can only handle being like this for so long. It's only the second week of school and you can't lose yourself because of this."

Cadence took a long moment to respond, watching his mother as she fiddled with her fingers. He knew that she disliked confrontation and that it was likely taking a lot out of her to be so hard on him.

"I know, I'm sorry." He replied quietly, reaching a hand out to cover her own with a small smile. "This is all so new for me. I've never had a real friend, let alone a friend like Alexander." He finished with a sigh, watching as the rain came down in sheets across the window. "I never thought that I would be hurt so easily. I hadn't realized how attached I had gotten to him until… until it was too late. It had only been three days."

"Three days is a long time if you really think about it. Life changes in an instant, you know." She responded with a small smile of her own, Storm walking in circles around her hands on the table. Cadence chuckled at her words.

"You know, Alexander said the same thing to me when we first met." He responded, glancing down at the wooden floorboards as the cool temperature grounded him. "There's… something about him that I just can't let go."

"Then that is all the more reason to work things out with him. If your intuition is telling you that you need to hold on, trust it." She commented, glancing out towards the wind-blown waves crashing against the shore. "Your father and I have had arguments, you know. No relationship is perfect. You need to communicate with the other person if you really, truly value them."

He knew that telling his mother that he and Alexander were not in a relationship would be redundant, so he let his cheeks redden without explanation as he nodded at her words.

* * *

When lunch rolled around on Monday afternoon, Cadence finally accepted that his tormenting emotions were not going to leave him alone as easily as he wished.

He hadn't realized he was walking into the greens until the sound of loud conversation reached his ears when he opened the doors. It was instinct, despite his want to avoid Alexander as best as possible; if he was even there.

At that thought, Cadence's gaze was met with blue from across the field as Nottingham panned the area. He could feel his heart racing as he forced himself to look away, walking backwards towards the doors until his back hit the wood, damp from the rain that had plagued the countryside for the past few days.

He felt for the doorknob, taking one last glance towards the grey sky before he disappeared into the school.

* * *

He barely payed attention in history, which ended up making him feel worse because he felt like he was disrespecting his teacher by doing so.

When the bell rang at the end of the day he felt more dejected than he had when the entire situation had occurred. He knew his eyes were swollen with emotion and he could feel the exhaustion tugging at his limbs as he forced himself to walk to South Campus to catch the waiting train.

The moment he stepped into the station, light rain pelting the glass roof above the crowded group of people, he immediately spotted a familiar blond head.

Cadence stopped in his tracks, watching Alexander from afar as he conversed with the group of Actis students that seemed particularly interested in what he was saying. He looked perfect, like none of this was affecting him at all.

The realization hurt Cadence more than he was willing to admit, and he tightened his grip on his schoolbag as he tried to force his feet to move. At that moment, Alexander's eyes met his own, reminiscent of the same situation that had occurred during lunch.

The world around him shifted, and as Alexander stared at him Cadence felt as if he were about to pass out. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes once more, the stare holding him in place as if Alexander had a magical hold on him that he refused to let up.

It was too much for him, Alexander made him feel like he was being singled out with only his gaze, but he knew that it was more than that as he listened to the conversation settle, the group of students surrounding the blond following his gaze to Cadence.

_What the fuck is wrong with me? I can't let him see me like this_ , Cadence thought to himself as he forced his feet into action, tearing his eyes away from the blond and breaking the electrifying connection. As soon as the stare was broken Cadence gasped, and it was at that moment as he stepped over the threshold of the waiting coach, that he realized he had forgotten to breathe.

As he sat down, melting into the old tartan seats, he caught commotion occurring out of the corner of his eye. Thunder echoed through the open building as Alexander tore himself away from the group crowding him, running towards the train with a speed that Cadence could barely follow. Before he realized what exactly Alexander was doing, he had turned himself around in reaction to a loud noise that tore its way through the quiet coach.

Cadence's frightened stare met Alexander's pained one as he gripped the wall beside him, taking in breath as the train doors shut behind him. The brunet's knuckles went white with the grip he had on the bench before him. Alexander's heavy breathing was the only sound Cadence could hear except for the pounding of his beating heart, echoing in his ears.

"Why…" The word was shaky as it left Cadence's mouth, "Why are you here?" he finished after, trying to get a hold on the situation.

"Why does it look like I'm here?" Alexander responded in a frustrated tone, straightening his jumper as he walked over to where Cadence was seated, sitting down gracefully in front of him despite the movement of the train.

The sound of rain filled the silent air when the train exited the station while both boys stared at each other, Cadence with confusion and exhaustion and Alexander with frustration and determination. The silence extended for longer than Cadence could keep track of, his anger keeping him from confronting the blond that sat in front of him.

For what seemed like hours they sat in silence, bodies tense and unmoving with anxiety.

Cadence started at the sound of Nottingham clearing his throat, so loud that it actually startled him. With a great amount of effort, he turned his gaze to meet Alexander's, painfully aware that he would be able to clearly see his red eyes and swollen cheeks.

"I want to talk to you." Alexander commented after a while, running a hand through the blond locks that tangled around his head, curled from the humid air and rain. Even with the avid tension that was thick in the atmosphere around him, Alexander looked beautiful.

Cadence watched him, not responding. He felt himself trembling slightly in his seat, a manifestation of both the chilly temperature and his raging emotions. All he wanted to do was to reach across the table and slap Alexander's perfect face, but he resisted.

"Why would you want to talk to _me_?" He responded with attitude, echoing the way Alexander had regarded him on the previous Friday when he dragged Timothy away. Cadence crossed his arms as he watched the blond for a reaction.

The confusion was evident on Alexander's face as he stared at Cadence, his eyes narrowing while one eyebrow rose.

"What are you talking about?" He questioned impatiently, blue eyes tearing into Cadence as he waited for a response.

"What do you mean what am I talking about?" He answered fluidly before chastising himself at how odd the question sounded. "You've clearly lost your interest. Why did you bother running here to talk to me? Was it purely to insult me?" Cadence questioned, his voice breaking a little bit.

Alexander Nottingham had the power to ruin his life, and the aura of frustration radiating off of the blond gave Cadence no comfort whatsoever.

"What the bloody hell? Cadence, I have neither the time nor the patience to play these mind-games with you." Alexander replied with frustration, a grunt escaping as a sneer formed on his lips.

Cadence laughed at the comment.

_If you don't have the time, why did you bother sitting in this awkward silence for so long_? He thought to himself, refraining from saying the thought out loud.

He interrupted Alexander before he could continue.

"Why did you even bother talking to me in the first place? Was it to learn about me to humiliate me in front of your group of cronies? You hardly need to do that, unless you really are the type of person people stereotype you to be." Cadence seethed, feeling the anger rise as he began to let out his emotions. He could feel the tears forming in the corner of his eyes, threatening to spill out onto the table between them as he leant closer in his anger.

He'd never remembered ever feeling this angry, this hurt. Quite honestly, he was more surprised at himself than anything in that it was hard for him to believe he could harbour such deep and visceral emotions. Because of his isolated nature, he had never truly experienced confrontation and Cadence found that he had absolutely no idea how to handle it.

"Who the hell do you think I am?" Alexander seethed, rising up over the table and towering over Cadence with a sneer that was as fear-inducing as it was on the first day he had met the blond, though so much worse now that it was directed towards him. "I opened myself up to you! I told you things that I have never told anybody else. How could you possibly think that I would ever do that to you?"

Cadence could feel the tears beginning to spill over his cheeks as he slid backwards in his seat until he felt the pressure of the cushion behind him, staring wide-eyed at the blond as he tried to form a response.

"What the hell did you expect me to think after you disappeared off of the face of the earth for two days, paired with that stunt you pulled during lunch last Friday? I was worried about you, you know." Cadence replied strong, but quiet. "What did you expect me to think? I opened myself up to you just as much as you did, how can you forget that?" He questioned, taking a few deep breaths before continuing. "You _know_ I'm an isolated person, you _know_ that I- that I've never had a _friend_ before, let alone a friend like _you_."

Alexander sneered, fists tight against his side as he stared at Cadence from above.

"What the bloody hell do you mean by 'a friend like _me_ '?" He responded in a surprisingly calm tone, but Cadence could see the effort Alexander was putting in to not blowing his lid by the red flush in his cheeks and his heavy breathing.

"Someone who is popular. Someone who is egotistical and prideful, someone who knows how to manipulate people and can… can get away with it." Cadence replied in turn, green eyes ablaze as he grit his teeth.

Alexander grunted as Cadence spoke, the sound primal as he sneered towards the brunet.

"You don't know a fucking thing about me, not one! I shared more with you than I have with anybody else. Don't you get that? In less than _three bloody days_ I defied everything I've built up because I _trusted you_!" Alexander boomed, hands slamming against the wooden table in front of them as the sound of the blond's frustrated breaths filled the coach.

Cadence's eyes widened at the volume of Alexander's voice, more hurt by the past tense of 'trust' than he wanted to admit.

The rain was pelting the window now, and Cadence could see Burling coming up in the distance out of the corner of his eye- Alexander was following him home.

"If you trusted me so much in such a short period of time then why did you treat me like you did? And Timothy? Have you considered how your actions have affected him _at all_?" Cadence yelled back, throwing his arms up into the air in exasperation as he wiped the tears away from his eyes.

"OF COURSE I HAVE!" Alexander yelled, running a hand through his hair as he tried to calm himself down.

The sound of station bells broke the silence, and Cadence was startled out of his anger at the sound. Giving the blond one last glare, he grabbed his bag and nearly threw himself from the train coach, wanting to get as far away from Alexander as possible. The damp, humid ocean air did little to calm his raging nerves as he tried to navigate his way through the station with teary eyes.

"Cadence!" Alexander called after him, obviously startled by the brunet's hasty escape as he could hear the blond trying to catch up to him.

Rain pelted his body as soon as he left the station, his hair slicking to his face as he continued to walk. It had been a long time since Burling had experienced a storm like this.

"Cadence, for the love of Merlin!"

He could make out the sound of Alexander's shouts through the wind, and part of him felt terrible for how wretched Alexander sounded, as if something inside of him had broken. Alexander Nottingham didn't belong in a place like this, with someone like him.

Before he knew what was happening, he felt warm skin against his wrist as Alexander grasped onto it, dragging Cadence backwards and throwing him harshly against the station's brick wall. Cadence could feel drops of water sliding down his hair, against his cheek, onto his collarbone- but the only thing he could consciously register was the feeling of Alexander's grip on his wrist as he pinned it against the wall beside his head, and the sound of his racing heartbeat.

The rain beat down around them as they stared daggers at each other, their breath mingling in the open space between them, contrasting with the cold water that was soaking through their clothing.

"Stop running from me." Alexander grunted as he pressed Cadence back into the stone. He could feel the brick digging into his back but all his brain could comprehend was Alexander's hypnotizing eyes and the water drops that slid down his immaculate nose, falling between them. He could feel Alexander's breath against his lips, and the realization had him trembling under the heavy grip as his cheeks flushed cherry red. Cadence could feel his heartbeat speeding up.

He met Alexander's strong gaze with as much confidence as he could muster, but he knew that it barely made a difference. The blond's hair was plastered against his cheekbones, darkened by the water that poured down around him. Cadence could feel the heat radiating from Alexander's hand and it took more effort than he wanted to stop the want to brush the small strands stuck to Alexander's neck away, replacing them with his own hand.

"Y-You don't…" Alexander started, eyes closing and opening again as he tried to form a coherent response. Cadence saw more than felt Alexander move closer to him by the increased detail he could see in Alexander's eyes. It was as if the sky itself lived within his flaming irises, darkened eyelashes framing them perfectly. Cadence's gaze slid downwards, following a drop of water as it slid down the blond's cheek and onto his upper lip, tinted red from emotion. He inhaled sharply, gaze coming back up to the beautiful blue that captivated him once more as Alexander's eyes softened slightly. "You don't _fucking know_ what you do to me."

Cadence's eyes slid shut at the feeling of Alexander's other hand as it slid through his soaked hair, cupping his cheek and filling it with such warmth that it took all of his power not to lean into the touch.

He could feel one of Alexander's fingers behind his ear, and it was in that moment that Cadence's instinct kicked in, eyes shooting open just as Alexander's slid shut as he leaned forward, about to-

A clap of thunder resounded around them, so loud that it shook the ground beneath them as both boys broke out of their trance, Cadence's eyes wide as he trembled against the station wall, while Alexander immediately shot himself backwards, inhaling heavily as he tore his hands away from the brunet.

Cadence was overwhelmed by the echoing sound along with his thundering heartbeat. He could feel his cheeks ablaze, forcing himself to breathe, to get a hold on his raging thoughts.

_What just happened?_ He thought, eyes wide as he ran a hand through his soaking hair to rid the lingering feeling of Alexander's touch. He felt as if the spot was on fire.

_Surely he wasn't going to… to kiss me_? Cadence questioned to himself as he met Alexander's widened blue eyes, so bright and so full of emotion that he wasn't sure he could look away.

They stared at each other for what seemed like eternity before Cadence broke the silence with a stutter.

"Do you… do you want to come back for some tea?"

It was the only thing he could think of.

He started to shiver as the cold seeped through his skin, no longer blocked by the warmth that Alexander had provided, and he started to laugh. He laughed harder than he could have remembered ever laughing before, raging emotions breaking free as he did so, and he let go.

Alexander responded in kind, his own laughter echoing with the fading thunder as both of them slumped forward, wiping their eyes of both water and tears.

"Yes, I'd really like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This chapter was really fun to write, and it's a good introduction to some of the angst that will be appearing in future chapters. I'm really excited to see what you guys think of this one!
> 
> Thank you to my beta Sarah as always, and to my friend Austin for letting me bounce ideas back and forth with him.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! See you soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, and welcome to my first ever story! I currently have 3 full chapters for this story, each about 7k words in length, and I am currently working on the fourth chapter.  
> I hope you enjoy!  
> Please feel free to leave a comment/review if you enjoy this story, as I would love to hear what everyone thinks! The original is up on fictionpress under the same username.  
> Hope to see you all in the next chapter!


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